Hi all,
Sorry for keeping this silly thread on life support, but...
A bedraggled old bag lady, carrying several plastic shopping bags wanders into the first national bank and demands to see someone in authority.
The receptionist camly explains that this particular branch does not see anybody without prior appointment.
Old lady "I just want to open an account here."
The receptionist does his best to explain that this branch is not for everyday savings accounts.
Old lady "Do you know what I've got here? There's almost four hundred thousand dollars here. In cash."
She proffers a bundle of hundred dollar bills to the receptionst, who in startled amazement contacts the manager. The manager, curious to know just how the woman came by the money invites her to his office.
Manager, "I gather you wish to open an account here and have a significant deposit to make."
Old lady, "Thats correct, Mr. Manager. Nearly four hundred thousand dollars. In cash. "
Manager, smiling urbanely as he tries to hold back his disbelief, "Well. For a sum of that amount, I'm sure we can make some arrangement. If you pardon my curiosity, how did you come to posess this money?"
Old lady "I make bets. Large ones. Unfortunately it's getting a bit much to carry around which is why I want to make an account."
"Bets? You made four hundred thousand dollars through bets? How?"
"Well, I can make a wager with you, to demonstrate"
"I'm not a gambling man..."
"Twenty five thousand dollars says by this time tomorrow you will have cubic testicles. We can sign a legal agreement of this wager infront of witnesses."
Still dumbstruck from the whole conversation and realising he can't lose such a wager he agrees.
And so the lady returns the next morning, lawyer in tow.
The manager, paranoid of black magic, voodoo or some other dark art comes into the office, having been groping himself all morning to reassure his family jewels have retained their original cut. They seem normal enough.
In front of the old lady, her lawyer and his own, he drops his pants and exposes himself.
Manager, "I believe the bet is mine."
Old lady, "Twenty five thousand dollars is a lot of money. To be certian, would you object if I felt for myself? I shall wear a medical examination glove."
The manager's lawyer decides that this would acceptible under their agreement.
So, the old lady dons a glove and goes to check managers' bundle. Suddenly the manager notices her lawyer banging his head against the office wall.
Old lady, "Well it seems I owe you twenty five thousand dollars."
Manager, "I see your lawyer is upset. I take it he isn;t being payed in this outcome."
"Not at all. It's just that I bet him seventy five thousand dollars two weeks ago that by this time today I'd be in the manager's office of the first national bank feeling his privates infront of witnesses."
:-P