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Author Topic: Groaner's Corner [was:EMINEM]  (Read 111180 times)

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Offline WilseTopic starter

Re: EMINEM
« Reply #104 on: March 20, 2003, 09:58:12 AM »
Groaner alert:

A Scottish fellow walks on to a building site, wearing nothing but a wellington over his privates.

The foreman sees this and shouts:
"You there! What do you think you're playing at?"

To which the Scotsman replies:
"Nothing. Just f*cking aboot."
--

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #105 on: March 20, 2003, 10:06:31 AM »
You think you people have problems having to read his groaners.  I sit in the same office as him and have to put up with his bad jokes 5days a week  :-(

**Sympathy please**

Mark.
 

Offline Venkman

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #106 on: March 20, 2003, 11:41:33 AM »
You have my deepest sympathy  :-D
Video game developer, former ZX81, C64 and Amiga bedroom coder, amateur astronomer, musician, graphic designer, Linux user and geek!
 

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #107 on: March 20, 2003, 12:04:08 PM »
Quote

Venkman wrote:
You have my deepest sympathy  :-D


Thank you very much Venkman....   ;-)
 

Offline Karlos

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #108 on: March 20, 2003, 01:07:55 PM »
Quote

Venkman wrote:
You have my deepest sympathy  :-D


So he should ;-)
int p; // A
 

Offline Vincent

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #109 on: March 20, 2003, 01:37:24 PM »
@Bamitupboy

You have my sympathy aswell. ;-)

I don't know how you're still here after all these groaners - well done :-P
Xbox360
"Oh no. Everytime you turn up something monumental and terrible happens.
I don\'t think I have the stomach for it." - Raziel
 

Offline Venkman

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #110 on: March 20, 2003, 01:50:00 PM »
I don't know how I'm still here after all these groaners either  :-P
Video game developer, former ZX81, C64 and Amiga bedroom coder, amateur astronomer, musician, graphic designer, Linux user and geek!
 

Offline Karlos

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #111 on: March 25, 2003, 10:22:49 AM »
Just when you thought it was safe to log onto a.org, I found this strange groaner...



1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.
2) How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.

3) The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend?
The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.

4) There is a river you must cross. But it is filled with crocodiles. How do you manage it?
You swim across -- all the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.
 


:-P
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Offline Karlos

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #112 on: March 25, 2003, 10:25:21 AM »
Not groansome enuff for ye?

Try this

Q: Why did the stoner cross the road?

A: Well, who the hell else would follow a chicken?

:crazy:
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Offline Karlos

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #113 on: March 25, 2003, 10:33:20 AM »
Or this...

A dog trots casually into a pub. To the surprise of the landlord, he hops up on a bar stool and puts his front paws on the bar.
He looks the landlord right in the eye and says, "I'm a talking dog. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? No? Thought not. Totally unique, I am. So,  have you got a decent drink to spare for a talking dog?"
 
The landlord thinks for a moment and says, "Sure. The toilet's right around the corner."

:-P
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Offline Karlos

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #114 on: March 25, 2003, 10:41:37 AM »
Ok, another, slightly racier groaner here...

It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's father answers and invites him in.
''Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?'' he says.

''That's cool.'' says Bobby.

Peggy Sue's father asks Bobby what they are planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's father responds, ''Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it.''

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby and he says, ''Whaaaat?''

''Yeah,'' says Peggy Sue's father, ''Peggy Sue really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!''

Bobby's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door while Dad is saying, ''Have a good evening, kids!''

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her father: ''Dammit, Daddy! The twist! It's called the twist!!''
int p; // A
 

Offline Venkman

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #115 on: March 25, 2003, 08:04:26 PM »


Are you tring to single handedly keep this thread alive?  :-D
Video game developer, former ZX81, C64 and Amiga bedroom coder, amateur astronomer, musician, graphic designer, Linux user and geek!
 

Offline Karlos

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #116 on: March 25, 2003, 09:00:03 PM »
Quote

Venkman wrote:


Are you tring to single handedly keep this thread alive?  :-D


Well, someone has to :-)
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Offline Vincent

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #117 on: March 25, 2003, 10:20:24 PM »
Quote

Venkman wrote:


Are you tring to single handedly keep this thread alive?  :-D


Nah, he's just trying to increase his post count :-P
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"Oh no. Everytime you turn up something monumental and terrible happens.
I don\'t think I have the stomach for it." - Raziel
 

Offline Karlos

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #118 on: March 25, 2003, 10:25:02 PM »
Jeez! I have to say, what a miserable bunch of beggers youv'e all been lately :-P ;-)

Here I am, going to heroic lengths to find jokes so appaulingly poor that you just *have* to laugh, solely to bring a wee bit of light heartedness to your lives and what thanks do I get?

:-D
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Offline Vincent

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Re: EMINEM
« Reply #119 from previous page: March 25, 2003, 10:27:31 PM »
Errrmmmm......



thanks :-(



:-P
Xbox360
"Oh no. Everytime you turn up something monumental and terrible happens.
I don\'t think I have the stomach for it." - Raziel