I was sent this list of 10 things to do at work. I don't find it funny in the normal way I'd find something funny. I found this funny purely because of how outrageous it would be if anyone actually did any of these things:
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1. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath, even if they don't, and then punch them in the face.
2. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives the sympathy remarks, tell everyone you were joking and call them a bunch of wankers.
3. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. In the meeting, pretend you're hacking up a greenie, spit it into a glass and hand it to the person next to you and say "BEAT THAT".
4. Inform a male colleague that he would make a great rent-boy, then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good shag up the arse.
5. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and one hand down the front of your trousers.
6. Answer every question with "F*cked if I know...", then abuse the person with a racial slur that doesn't even match their colour.
7. Brag about the fact that you carry a gun.
8. Run around the office with your d*ck out spraying p*ss everywhere and yelling "It wont stop! God help me it wont stop!" Then when it does, look down and go "Oh!"
9. Ask to borrow a colleague's expensive pen - take it to the toilet and stick it up your arse - return it to the person and tell them that it smells bad and tell them to smell it- when they say that it smells, say:
"It should do, I had it up my arse"
10. Have a poo on your office floor and, when someone comes in and sees it, tell them it's the fake rubber kind. When they try to pick it up and
realise it is real sh*t - laugh and embarrass them in front of everyone.
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No, I didn't test any of the suggestions.....
