A farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he
wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next
farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would
sell.
The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great
rooster, named Ralph. He'll service every hen you
got, no worries mate."
Well, Ralph the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money,
but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys
Ralph.
The farmer takes Ralph home and sets him down in the
barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk.
"I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot
of hens to service here, and you cost me a lot of
money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So,
take your time and have some fun," the farmer said,
with a chuckle.
Ralph seems to understand, so the farmer points
toward the hen house and Ralph takes off like a shot.
WHAM! Ralph nails every hen in the hen house - three
or four times, and the farmer is really shocked.
After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck
pen and, sure enough, Ralph is in there.
Later, the farmer sees Ralph after a flock of geese
down by the lake. Once again - WHAM! He gets all the
geese. By sunset he sees Ralph out in the fields
chasing quail and pheasants.
The farmer is distraught and worried that his
expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure
enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next
morning to find Ralph on his back out in the middle of
the yard, mouth open, tongue hanging out and both feet
sticking straight up in the air. Buzzards are
circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colourful
and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh,
Ralph, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get
you to slow down, now look what you've done to
yourself."
Ralph opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards
circling in the sky and says, "Shhhh! They're getting
closer."
