Groaner's Corner [was:EMINEM]

[Karlos]

@Gadget

:lol:

That's actually pretty good :-D

[Karlos]

Tragic news just in:

Ireland's worst air disaster in almost a decade occurred early this morning when a small two seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Search and rescue workers have recovered 1,826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues.

[Karlos]

A man goes to his GP for a check up.

Doctor: "I'm going to need a urine sample, a semen sample, a blood sample and a stool sample".

Patient: "I'm in a hurry. can I just leave my underpants?"

[Karlos]

Oh yes indeedy, Groaner's is back, bigger and better than ever.

Now that we're using VBulletin, which handles immensely long threads with ease, this thread is now unlocked for your amusement. What's more, Groaner's Corner Reloaded and Groaner's Corner Revisited and Groaner's Corner 4.0 have been merged into the original behemoth.

Enjoy

[Karlos]

In true groaner tradition:

A man goes into a pub with his Labrador, makes his way to the bar and asks for a drink. Seeing the dog, the landlord objects, "I'm sorry sir, you can't bring that dog in here. You'll have to leave him outside or leave immediately."

The man, without hesitation, says, "Please, I'm blind. This is my guide dog"

"Sorry mate", the landlord apologises ashamedly, "Here, the first one's on the house. Enjoy.".

The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another man walks in with a Chihuahua. The first man sees him and warns, "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a guide dog."

The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The landlord says "Sorry sir, you can't bring that dog in here."

On cue, the second man responds, "This is my guide dog."

Shaking his head, the landlord replies "Erm, no, I don't think so. Since when did they start using Chiwauas as guide dogs?!"

The man pulls an incredulous face and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

[the_leander]

Was in Asda today with two full trollies of booze and shopping when a little old lady got behind me in the queue. She only had a pint of milk, so I said:

"Is that all you got love?"
She replied gently "Yes"

So I did the decent thing and said "if I were you I'd F-off to another till - I'm gonna take ages!"

I thankyou!

[GadgetMaster]

Was in Asda today with two full trollies of booze and shopping when a little old lady got behind me in the queue. She only had a pint of milk, so I said:

"Is that all you got love?"
She replied gently "Yes"

So I did the decent thing and said "if I were you I'd F-off to another till - I'm gonna take ages!"

I thankyou!

:roflmao:

[GadgetMaster]

Oh yes indeedy, Groaner's is back, bigger and better than ever.

Now that we're using VBulletin, which handles immensely long threads with ease, this thread is now unlocked for your amusement. What's more, Groaner's Corner Reloaded and Groaner's Corner Revisited and Groaner's Corner 4.0 have been merged into the original behemoth.

Enjoy

Woot! It just keeps getting better.

I wonder where you done all that testing on long threads. Actually I'd better not ask. It'd probably just be much ado about nothing.

[adz]

Nice work Karlos

[the_leander]

I figured the biggest thankyou I could give was to add to it, but yes, thankyou :-)

[adz]

How do you get Picachu onto a bus?

Highligh below for answer...

Pokemon!

[Karlos]

My pleasure. I never really forgave Red for locking it in the first place.. :p Seriously though, he was quite right as xoops never really liked big threads that much. Not much of a problem now though, I've seen 1000+ page threads on other VB sites.

It's all good fun

[Speelgoedmannetje]

Tragic news just in:

Ireland's worst air disaster in almost a decade occurred early this morning when a small two seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Search and rescue workers have recovered 1,826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues.

Oh gosh, I know that one, but then with Belgians (kinda the Irish here in NL).

Belgian inventions:
An indoor airstrip
A jump seat for a helicopter

[Karlos]

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse.
"Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says.
The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.
"I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband."

[Andy]

Getin groaners is back. Nice one Karlos.

A women goes into M&S for a maternity bra. The assistant asks, "What bust?"
The lady replied, "The condom."

[Andy]

A lady with very small boobs goes into M&S and asks for a bra size 32AAAA. The assistant tells her that they don't do anything that small. She then goes into La Senza and asks the same question. They don't do anything that size either. After several stores with the same answer she storms into Debenham's marches up to the lingerie section, pull up her top and yells, "Do you have anything for these?" The assistant asks, "Have you tried clearasil?"