BANNED FROM HOME FOR SMACKING SON

[the_leander]

I know where MDMA is comming from, and the key to that is the part where he said "When he was angry" and this part is of absolute importance, by all means chastise your child, physically if necesary. But do not resort to smacking *whilst angry*.

As for PowerAmiga, You kids teacher is talking bollox, and your kids need a good clip. I watched very very closely what was actually decided on this issue, which btw I don't think comes into force next year, but basically its just a rehash of the previous law, a quick slap is ok, beating them liberally around the head with a rubber mallet isn't. Though I suspect that the latter is in your current crisis a damned tempting option, well, for the teacher at any road.

X-ray wrote:
@ mdma

"...I know if I whacked my 6yr old across the head, it'd probably kill him..."

-------------------------------------------------------

Well then I suggest you see a physician, because you have a motor control problem. If you can't give someone a controlled smack on the butt without injuring them, then you have control issues.

"Also for everyone reading this thread, please take time to look up the meaning of the word discipline in the dictionary. Jesus had 12 of them I believe."

I think it is you who needs to read the dictionary, mdma:

discipline:

1) training or conditions imposed for the improvement of physical powers, self-control etc.
2) systematic training in obedience
3) the stae of improved behaviour, etc
4) punishment or chastisement
5) a sytem of rules for behaviour
6) a branch of learning or instruction
7) the laws governing members of a church
to improve or attempt to improve the behaviour, orderliness, ertc., of by training, conditioning or rules
9) to punish or correct

From the Collins dictionary and Thesaurus


(I think the word you are thinking of is disciple)

1.  I do not have a motor control issue, I have a very strong punch.  Especially when provoked.  This comes from years of martial arts in two completly differing styles.  And as leander said , i wrote "NEVER hit my child in anger".  If I smacked him then it would do no physical damage.  If I hit him (or you, or any other adult for that matter), whilst angry and not in control of my emotions then yes, it is very likely I would kill him, or at the very least cause permanant brain damage.

2.  Do you know what emoticons are for?  I know that you Afrikaaners have trouble understanding subtle sarcasm and irony, but when there is a bloody smiley face right next to the offending sentance it kind of gives it away.

[the_leander]

I do try to be very scrupulous in my english, though its easier when its other peoples ;-)

I love the language, there are just so many levels and so many styles of it to be explored. To someone like myself, it's a paradise.

If my spelling (and grammar) was better, I'd consider myself a pedant :-D

[whabang]

Do you know what emoticons are for? I know that you Afrikaaners have trouble understanding subtle sarcasm and irony, but when there is a bloody smiley face right next to the offending sentance it kind of gives it away.

The problem is that the :-) was read as a :roll:.
At least that's how I saw it. Perhaps a :-P or a :-D would be more appropriate.

But then I am Swedish... :-P

[whabang]

Is it really illegal to lock them up during the evening

It is illegal in Sweden too (kränkande behandling, och vid en faktisk inlåsning olaga tvång och ev. framkallande av fara för annan).

[whabang]

To sum it all up:

A small slap, or a spank is Ok in my eyes. I never approved of it when I was a kid, but looking back at it I realise it was for my own good! :lol:

There is a long way to go from child-fostering to litteral child abuse. There are so many factors involved in raising a child, especially phycological, and I believe that one's attitude towards the child can do far more damage than a quick pull in the ear or a slap.

I once had a friend whose parents abused him phycologically. Of course he got pulled in the ear sometimes (who didn't), but  he was also pushed so far that he broke the ties with them at the age of 13. I never saw it until it was too late, and he's now in prison. The scary thing is that when we were 4, his mother told mine (they are friends) that I would end up in jail if she didn't start following her example.

[X-ray]

@ mdma

"...i wrote "NEVER hit my child in anger". If I smacked him then it would do no physical damage..."

Good. That's what this thread is about, smacking, not HITTING.

 
"...Do you know what emoticons are for? I know that you Afrikaaners have trouble understanding subtle sarcasm and irony, but when there is a bloody smiley face right next to the offending sentance it kind of gives it away..."


Firstly, your comment about the word disciple is hardly sarcastic. Well, if that was your intent, it didn't come off as intended. Where's the sarcasm? Can you explain it to me (as I obviously have trouble understanding subtle sarcasm).

Secondly, an Afrikaner (note the spelling, which is probably a useful thing for you to do anyway, as a teacher), is a white native of the republic of South Africa whose mother tongue is Afrikaans. See also Boer: a descendant of any of the Dutch or Hugenot colonists who settled in South Africa.
Just for your education: my mother tongue is English. My maternal ancestors can be traced to England, and my paternal ancestors can be traced to Italy. I suggest you get rid of whatever crystal ball you have been rubbing, or alternately you stop eating cheese at night, as it gives you weird dreams.

Edit: that last sentence was sarcastic. For your reference.

[adz]

poweramiga2002 wrote:
I have a 7yr 8yr  and a 6 month baby

my 7 and 8 yr olds have both given me the rules on hitting as they were told by there teachers at school

they use it against me all the time they even threaten to say ive hit them
if i dont do what they want me to do cause they have been told the police will take me away
so what in the hell do i do to punish them ? i send them to there rooms they refuse i cant smack them
if i lock them in there room its against the law im off to jail
the juvenile crime rate is so high here and its because as parents we have no rights any more

we might as well just hand them all loaded guns as their born and  just let them go for it

when i was growing up if i did anything wrong i got the belt and i always thought twice about misbehaving

Sadly this kind of thing is becoming an epidemic in Australia, schools seem to focus more on teaching children their rights than theaching the three "R's". However, this is not the case for all schools, if I were you, I would consider changing their school or consider boarding school.

When I was a child I tried to scare my parent with that kind of talk after coping a whack, the one that followed set me straight. Besides, it isn't illegal for you to smack a child on the backside, it is however illegal for you to beat them around the head several times. Besides, if all your kids can think about is sending you to jail at the first indication they are going to cop a whack, then perhaps you need to take a serious look at the relationship that exists between you and your children.

[Dan]

X-ray wrote:
"...Try smacking a 12 year old or 15 year old into following your rules..."

I got smacked at the age of 12 at home, and at the age of 15 I was caned at school. I pretty had pretty much learned to follow the rules by then and physical punishment dwindled as I became more mature.

As I said: Kitchen knives. the most common murder weapon of all.
Try to use a corporal punishment on a 15 year old chavs. :lol:

[KennyR]

mdma wrote:
1. I do not have a motor control issue, I have a very strong punch. Especially when provoked. This comes from years of martial arts in two completly differing styles.

There's a simple way around that. Never hit anyone closed-fisted, unless you really want to do some harm. An open hand* itself can't do that much damage to a child, no matter how how hard the blow is - at worst you break your hand. And anyone who hits someone hard enough to break their hand needs serious anger management, but at least you aren't going to cause any major damage to anyone. And getting your hand broken is a pretty quick way to lose that anger...

(* Of course chops and palm strikes are also out, especially if you are an experienced martial artist. But I wouldn't go to the extreme of never chastising the children - that's how chavs are born.)

[PMC]

It's a deeper problem than just being about corporal punishment, it's about respect.

When I was a kid, I was taught respectful behaviour both by my mother and my teachers at school.  These days, with so much in society geared towards kids, the notion of respect for oneself and others has gone out of the window.  I certainly don't advocate corporal punishment in all cases (indeed my father used it excessively and without warning on me, causing more damage than good), but some sort of deterrant is needed.

Personally, I feel those diabolical teenies who go around breaking into cars and homes without fear of prosecution should either be sent to boot camp or publically birched.  Either way, the notion that one's actions have consequences must be brought home to them in some way.  After all, within ten years they may have children of their own.

Society needs to preserve the rights and wellbeing of children without resorting to hysteria.  Corporal punishment (ie, a short, gentle slap across the buttocks) has been used for countless centuries, but now we're supposed to use other means to discipline our children.

For example, I've two neices aged seven and four.  Normally I absolutely adore then, they give so much unconditional affection and bring smiles aplenty, but they do have their dark sides.  

With my eldest neice, I've been able to reason with her since before she could walk.  Taking the time to explain why she mustn't do something would work more often than not, thus avoiding harsh words.  

The youngest is a different matter, everything you say she mustn't do becomes a challenge.  If you say no to her, she'll do it anyway and she simply won't listen to reason.  Sometimes a simple hard stare will stop her, other times you have to make a threat (ie, go to your room etc) and carry it through.  Backing down in front of a child is a sign of weakness that they'll exploit.  Each time she misbehaves when I babysit, I explain to her that it's her choice whether I stay and read her a story, or send her to bed immediately, depending on the course of her actions.

With both, I always try and instill some respect.  Yesterday they came to see me and Hannah (eldest) said:  

"Playstation!".

My response was simply

"Pardon?"

We carried this game on until she managed

"Uncle Paul, can I play Playstation please?"  

My brother seems quite happy for me to take some disciplinary responsibility while they're in my care, and although I love them both to bits, I believe that fundamental things like good manners and respect are vital skills for any child to learn.

@X-Ray

You say potato, I say spud! ;-)

-edit

My spelling is atrocious, but it would be considering I'm dyslexic.

Anyways, I was only poking fun at you.

Some of my best friends are saffers, but I wouldn't wanna live next door to one! ;-)

btw I teach C/C++, i've mastered spelling the reserved words!

whabang wrote:

Do you know what emoticons are for? I know that you Afrikaaners have trouble understanding subtle sarcasm and irony, but when there is a bloody smiley face right next to the offending sentance it kind of gives it away.

The problem is that the :-) was read as a :roll:.
At least that's how I saw it. Perhaps a :-P or a :-D would be more appropriate.

But then I am Swedish... :-P

Or maybe a wink would have been better? ;-)

My brother seems quite happy for me to take some disciplinary responsibility while they're in my care, and although I love them both to bits, I believe that fundamental things like good manners and respect are vital skills for any child to learn.

You have hit the nail on the head there.

Children behave well when they respect you, and for them to respect you then you have to show them respect also.

It's a two way thing thing.  If we as adults don't respect hypocrites then, why should a child?

[Dan]

X-ray wrote:
"...he used another one, simply throwing me out of the house until dark/diner time I think that was a good one because it meant we both had time to calm down and think over the situation and I had time as kid to think over what I had done wrong. I realise this wouldn´t work in the city but thats just the cities faults..."

and

"where do you draw the line between smacking and child abuse"

I think the above statements clearly show that you have a, shall we say, 'unique' perspective on this.

Of course, as I already said my dad was old enough to be my grandfather. That makes for an unusual situation. A situation which could have ended tragically, if it hasen´t been for the law against corporal punishment. As for being throw out it was just a more boring version of go to your room, very "Emil i Lönneberga" :-P

[Dan]

X-ray wrote:
"...Then dont have picknicks at that site, its you who claim that children is sole the parents responsibility guess what that means for any picknick by the dangerous water..."

Hmmm, that hardly seems to be fitting advice from an 'anarchist'.

You have no idea what anarchism means have you?

Just as well my parents weren't like you. I would have had a very restricted childhood: maybe a padded cell as a room?

See option three, there is a reason for rules, if a parent say its dangerous then it is. just as well that you wasn´t raised on a farm, your parents method would never have worked, you would be maimed. If I was told to not touch anything, I {bleep}ing knew that it was for my own best. I also knew that other adults was serious when they told me to stay away from something.