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Author Topic: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.  (Read 48007 times)

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Offline cecilia

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #29 on: February 01, 2004, 03:55:03 PM »
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
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cecilia wrote:
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iamaboringperson wrote:
:nervous: Cecilia seems to have this weird fascination with the penis!
it's all on account of my hormones . (and it's normal)
 :-D
Is it? What is normal and what's not normal?
don't start with me!!!
It's normal for ME!! and ME is all i'm talkin' about!

stop with the PC crap.
the no CARB diet- no Cheney, Ashcroft, Rumsfeld or Bush.
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Offline Speelgoedmannetje

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #30 on: February 01, 2004, 05:16:57 PM »
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cecilia wrote:
stop with the PC crap.

Political correctness is something extremely important. Look at Africa, there's no such a thing as political corectness, and see what suffering it causes!

And btw. about that "hormone stuff", it'd be not normal for me?
And the canary said: \'chirp\'
 

Offline BouncingAyatollah

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #31 on: February 01, 2004, 07:58:17 PM »
@KennyR

ROTFL! Bravo... indeed brings to mind bending tricks and contortions that would put Uri Geller to shame.
\\"Whose souls, albeit in a cloudy memory, yet seek back their good,
but, like drunk men, know not the road home.\\" -- BOETHIUS
 

Offline Karlos

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #32 on: February 01, 2004, 08:08:37 PM »
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KennyR wrote:
Nobody has been brave (or sick?) enough to mention this so I will. For men waking up at 5am with a full bladder, we usually find that something has got up before us. Targeting the toilet (or indeed anything below waist level) with that monstrosity is never easy, unless you take a handstand over the bowl. Now, they may be hard to acheive in later life but they seem even harder to get rid of. There's the choice of thinking about Margaret Thatcher and waiting until it wears off while in agony from a full bladder, or just going for it and blaming it on someone else later. Guess which choice is usually better.


:roflmao:

A friend once reasoned that, if you had the room to back up, you could just stand close to the loo and urinate in a parabolic trajectory. Then simply reverse as the flow increases and move forwards again as it dies off,  thus reducing it to a simple realtime feedback/control problem.

Unfortunately, it had one slight drawback...

It was boll*cks :-)

Nobody with an absolute bladderfull at 5am can respond quickly or accurately enough...
int p; // A
 

Offline Cyberus

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #33 on: February 01, 2004, 08:15:44 PM »
There is actually a solution:

Sit on the toilet and force the ol' chap vertically downwards - unless you are endowed with an acorn you have to align it before you sit, otherwise it'll hit the seat. Of course you have to avoid the tip touching the toilet bowl and giving you that cringe factor, yeurgh.

I can't believe I've just said all that!
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Offline BouncingAyatollah

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #34 on: February 01, 2004, 08:18:56 PM »
ROTFLMAO!!!
\\"Whose souls, albeit in a cloudy memory, yet seek back their good,
but, like drunk men, know not the road home.\\" -- BOETHIUS
 

Offline that_punk_guyTopic starter

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #35 on: February 01, 2004, 08:19:13 PM »
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Cyberus wrote:

I can't believe I've just said all that!


That's my solution too... but I didn't feel the need to share. ;-)

I sit down to pee most of the time anyway. My bathroom's dingy and I don't want to miss and make the carpet smell...
 

Offline mikeymike

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #36 on: February 01, 2004, 08:28:20 PM »
Got a solution for the "random direction" problem? :-)
 

Offline that_punk_guyTopic starter

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #37 on: February 01, 2004, 08:33:07 PM »
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mikeymike wrote:
Got a solution for the "random direction" problem? :-)


Wash regularly. And thoroughly. That way nothing sticks and sends liquids off at bad trajectories.

I just found a black hair on my chest, I don't like it. I look like a porn star.

 

Offline Speelgoedmannetje

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #38 on: February 01, 2004, 08:35:44 PM »
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cecilia wrote:
ok, well, as most of you (!)
I once had to pee desperatly (in the pub, you know) and the men's toilet was in use, so I used the women's toilet. Once I came out I saw that a muscled gothic-deathmetal girl was waiting :lol:
And the canary said: \'chirp\'
 

Offline mikeymike

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #39 on: February 01, 2004, 08:40:45 PM »
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Wash regularly. And thoroughly. That way nothing sticks and sends liquids off at bad trajectories.

I wish you had PM'd that, makes me look like a skanky... :-)

Hmm, that would explain why it happens first thing in the morning.

If you can think of any other excuses as good or better than this one, pmail them to me ;-)

 

Offline that_punk_guyTopic starter

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #40 on: February 01, 2004, 08:47:37 PM »
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mikeymike wrote:
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Wash regularly. And thoroughly. That way nothing sticks and sends liquids off at bad trajectories.

I wish you had PM'd that, makes me look like a skanky... :-)


:lol: Sorry 'bout that...
 

Offline Speelgoedmannetje

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #41 on: February 01, 2004, 08:54:29 PM »
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that_punk_guy wrote:
I just found a black hair on my chest, I don't like it. I look like a porn star.
what do you really want to tell us Punkie? :-D
And the canary said: \'chirp\'
 

Offline that_punk_guyTopic starter

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #42 on: February 01, 2004, 08:55:17 PM »
Quote

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
Quote

that_punk_guy wrote:
I just found a black hair on my chest, I don't like it. I look like a porn star.
what do you really want to tell us Punkie? :-D


I was Ron Jeremy in a previous life? :-D
 

Offline Speelgoedmannetje

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #43 on: February 01, 2004, 09:25:34 PM »
Quote

that_punk_guy wrote:
I was Ron Jeremy in a previous life? :-D
I meant, this whole thread, about manly doin' on the toilet and chest hair and so...
And the canary said: \'chirp\'
 

Offline KennyR

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Re: Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.
« Reply #44 from previous page: February 01, 2004, 10:47:30 PM »
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mikeymike wrote:
Got a solution for the "random direction" problem?


At 5am, best I can recommend is a two fisted manual realignment. It's not easy, though. It's like pushing a B52 into a dive.