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Author Topic: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread  (Read 23474 times)

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Offline X-rayTopic starter

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #74 on: January 06, 2007, 09:05:20 PM »
"...That's from the original material if I'm not mistaken..."
---------------------------------------------------------

It is. I don't think CannonFodder grasps how this all works. He should learn a bit then come back.
 

Offline CannonFodder

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #75 on: January 06, 2007, 09:06:24 PM »
Quote

X-ray wrote:
He is on the phone, crying. Leave him for a bit. Don't stop him.


He's on the phone to your Mum.  On one of those german wank lines.  He's on the vinegar strokes by now I imagine.
People are hostile to what they do not understand - Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib(AS)
 

Offline CannonFodder

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #76 on: January 06, 2007, 09:08:38 PM »
Quote

X-ray wrote:
"...That's from the original material if I'm not mistaken..."
---------------------------------------------------------

It is. I don't think CannonFodder grasps how this all works. He should learn a bit then come back.


I learned everything from your Mum about coming back.  I came all over her back during WW2
People are hostile to what they do not understand - Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib(AS)
 

Offline CannonFodder

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #77 on: January 06, 2007, 09:11:27 PM »
And her face.

That's how you were conceived that is, during an 8 on 1 session in a U-Boat.
People are hostile to what they do not understand - Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib(AS)
 

Offline Karlos

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #78 on: January 06, 2007, 09:12:16 PM »
Quote

X-ray wrote:
He is on the phone, crying. Leave him for a bit. Don't stop him.


Yes, the news researcher has been filling me in on your incontinence pants breach, during our conversation. Tears of laughter are streaming down my cheeks now that I cleaned up the tearducts. I fear I am laughing so hard I may have a seizure. And then I'll look like you trying to dance.

It's the funniest thing you have ever done and you did it by virtue of a humiliating accident. Nothing you ever intended to be amusing ever has been, or ever will be.
int p; // A
 

Offline Karlos

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #79 on: January 06, 2007, 09:14:45 PM »
Quote

CannonFodder wrote:

I did drop hints about spending a lot of time in Israel about who I am.


Taxi for Mr. Bladdibub?
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Offline X-rayTopic starter

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #80 on: January 06, 2007, 09:16:47 PM »
"...You are, for once, correct in that I am on the phone...."
-------------------------------------------------------

I am always correct, I am Professor Lewis.
 

Offline CannonFodder

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #81 on: January 06, 2007, 09:20:26 PM »
You see that symptom of sociopathic disorders, where the person is convinced they are always correct?

General Pinochet had that disease, so did Franco.

They were real men.  They had balls, they didn't cry and they didn't munch chessy wotsits in a cottage full of used hyperdermics.
People are hostile to what they do not understand - Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib(AS)
 

Offline Karlos

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #82 on: January 06, 2007, 09:23:28 PM »
Quote

CannonFodder wrote:
Quote

X-ray wrote:
He is on the phone, crying. Leave him for a bit. Don't stop him.


He's on the phone to your Mum.  On one of those german wank lines.  He's on the vinegar strokes by now I imagine.


:-o

(do you even have those in old age?)
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Offline CannonFodder

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #83 on: January 06, 2007, 09:23:41 PM »
Quote

Karlos wrote:
Quote

X-ray wrote:
He is on the phone, crying. Leave him for a bit. Don't stop him.


Yes, the news researcher has been filling me in on your incontinence pants breach, during our conversation. Tears of laughter are streaming down my cheeks now that I cleaned up the tearducts. I fear I am laughing so hard I may have a seizure. And then I'll look like you trying to dance.

It's the funniest thing you have ever done and you did it by virtue of a humiliating accident. Nothing you ever intended to be amusing ever has been, or ever will be.


Except when he "ate" a Jack Russells cheesy wotsit for the amusement of the U-Boot crew he calls Pa.
People are hostile to what they do not understand - Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib(AS)
 

Offline CannonFodder

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #84 on: January 06, 2007, 09:26:47 PM »
Quote

Karlos wrote:
Quote

CannonFodder wrote:
Quote

X-ray wrote:
He is on the phone, crying. Leave him for a bit. Don't stop him.


He's on the phone to your Mum.  On one of those german wank lines.  He's on the vinegar strokes by now I imagine.


:-o

(do you even have those in old age?)


It is unusual to still have a mother when one is in old age, but his mother is a corpse he keeps in the rocking chair by the front window so people think he has a girlfriend.

It's him you are speaking to really, saying "ooh ahhh ooh" on the other end of the phone line.  He's on the vinegar strokes too.
People are hostile to what they do not understand - Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib(AS)
 

Offline Karlos

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #85 on: January 06, 2007, 09:27:53 PM »
I meant "vinegar strokes".... :roflmao:
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Offline Karlos

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #86 on: January 06, 2007, 09:49:36 PM »
Quote

X-ray wrote:
"...You are, for once, correct in that I am on the phone...."
-------------------------------------------------------

I am always correct, I am Professor Lewis.


If indeed you are the same Professor F. J. Lewis made famous by the invigorating historical TV series "History Today", in which many important historical subjects were rigorously discussed, you'd surely know what the initials F. and J. stood for.
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Offline X-rayTopic starter

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #87 on: January 06, 2007, 11:45:13 PM »
I do indeed. I have told you before, but you always forget.
 

Offline X-rayTopic starter

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #88 on: January 06, 2007, 11:52:18 PM »
See a doddering tramp, his grubby hands outstretched for a few pennies while he surreptitiously guards a scuffed bottle of White Lightning behind his crooked legs? See his divergent gaze, no doubt made even less sharp than usual by the vapours of this cheap alcohol? See the lack of focus and incomplete faculties of this sorry example of an upright species?
That's your future, that is.
That's what you will become if you study hard and improve yourself, but even then you'll not get any coins from passers-by because you will be recognised as the runner-up in all the debates on History Today.
A runner-up in a contest of two.
 

Offline Karlos

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Re: The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread
« Reply #89 from previous page: January 07, 2007, 12:54:28 AM »
Quote

X-ray wrote:
See a doddering tramp, his grubby hands outstretched for a few pennies while he surreptitiously guards a scuffed bottle of White Lightning behind his crooked legs? See his divergent gaze, no doubt made even less sharp than usual by the vapours of this cheap alcohol? See the lack of focus and incomplete faculties of this sorry example of an upright species?


Yes, I have observed the sorry fellow. I and the few other people unfortunate enough to have met you have mistaken him for you on occasion based his general appearence and mein. However, it became apparent it was not you when he managed to string together a semi coherent string of syllables, which combined with his outstretched hands conveyed enough information for one to deduce he was asking for money.

So, despite the pitiful worn rags, the multilayered strata of dirt concealing his features and the discordant ensemble of rank odours from the drink, urine, excrement and other bodily secretions that are in all respect identical to you in your most presentable state, the demonstration of communicative ability was decisive in the differentiation.

You, by comparison, just sit there and drool, occasionally mumble in a manner consistent with someone raised by wild apes and missing a part of their mouth as a result of being attacked by a dominant chimpanzee for having made solicitous advances on his female. The only variation on this behaviour that you can manage is a sporadic convulsion that could be signature of someone with a serious, irrecoverable brain injury.
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