The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread

[X-ray]

See the news crew out filming at your house because a second Niagara Falls has been discovered?
That's you crying, that is.
That's your tears of shame.

[Karlos]

X-ray wrote:
You're crying now, aren't you.

I can't. My tearducts are blocked with rheumy crusts due to the great age I have reached...

[CannonFodder]

See your Mum?

You're crying right now because of your Mum.  She does it for money.

[Karlos]

X-ray wrote:
See the news crew out filming at your house because a second Niagara Falls has been discovered?
That's you crying, that is.
That's your tears of shame.

Alas no. It was just reported that it was due to a breach in your incontinence pants.

[X-ray]

I'll bet you're crying on the phone right now. But there is nobody listening, just dial tone.
That's because you have no friends to call. And even if you did find someone to call by guessing a phone number, they wouldn't listen for more than a millisecond.

You're on the phone, aren't you?

[X-ray]

It would have to be a very simple instrument, mind you, if it was in your house. maybe it would be two empty bean tins connected by a string. But nobody would pick up the other end.

[X-ray]

Stop crying now, and let's talk about the efficiency of the German navy in World War 2.

[CannonFodder]

You are crying because your Mum efficiently serviced the entire German Navy during WW2.

[CannonFodder]

For free.

[Karlos]

(actually, I am on the phone :lol:)

You're on the phone, aren't you?

You are, for once, correct in that I am on the phone. The news company has contacted me for background on you over your incontinence pants rupture that has caused Katrina like scenes in your area.

They had to call me for the information, as nobody else knows or cares who you are.

[CannonFodder]

Your mum does it with you, for money.

She gives you your pocket money and you give it right back.

You're going to cry.  Again.

[X-ray]

He is on the phone, crying. Leave him for a bit. Don't stop him.

[Karlos]

CannonFodder wrote:
Your mum does it with you, for money.

She gives you your pocket money and you give it right back.

You're going to cry.  Again.

That's from the original material if I'm not mistaken :-D

[X-ray]

See that Jabba the Hut? He never needed the phone when he was losing. If you had more composure you could be like him, but all you emulated was his physique.
That's you when you were slim, that is.

[CannonFodder]

Karlos wrote:

CannonFodder wrote:
Your mum does it with you, for money.

She gives you your pocket money and you give it right back.

You're going to cry.  Again.

That's from the original material if I'm not mistaken :-D

Bugger, my rouse is up.  I did drop hints about spending a lot of time in Israel about who I am.

[X-ray]

"...That's from the original material if I'm not mistaken..."
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It is. I don't think CannonFodder grasps how this all works. He should learn a bit then come back.