The Unofficial Professor F J Lewis Appreciation Thread

[Karlos]

I have observed the phenomenon, I found it particularly reminiscent of the last time you attempted to make dinner.

Well I am tayloring the evolution (or lack thereof) of my comments, to the IQ of the person to whom it is directed

And that's why your'e losing, that is. Like a totally blind man taking a free kick after being deliberately spun in circles, you are aiming in completely the wrong direction. I would suggest you look upwards, if your ageing hunched back would allow it, but I fear you may injure yourself fatally in the attempt, thus denying me of the amusement I derive from your attempts at insult mongering, comedic as they are, but only in the tragedy of their ineffectual delivery.

[Karlos]

(time for a few visual gags. I found these and just knew I had to use them :lol:)

See that "Heino", as depicted on the cover of his single "Liebe Mutter" famed as one of the worst album covers of all time?



See his dreadful 1960's fashion victim appearence, thick rimmed glasses that look bad even compared to those given by the National Health Service during the 1970's? See his effeminite pout and general lack of manliness?

That's your idea of style that is. You tried to copy it, but he found out and challenged you. You subsequently lost a fight to him, you did. Then he bullied you for a decade before finally making you his "b!tch", pimping you around seedy clubs where he made you wear a leather thong and gimp mask whilst lecturing on the reform period to a private audience of extremely "special interest" (read disturbed) perverts.

And that was your best ever job, that was.

[Karlos]

See this group of people, clearly the end result of systematic inbreeding and extreme social introversion?




That's you with with your best friends, that is. That's you on the right, taken before the others decided you cramped their style too much and shunned you.

[Karlos]

See an old cornflake box with a circle cut crudely on one face, that has been sellotaped onto a broom handle? See how it features a couple of bits of frayed parcel string salvaged from the bin after I opened my cutlery set that have strung across the entire length of the shambolic assemblage of discarded junk?

That's your guitar, that is. That's your Takamine. That's what you use to put your odes to music that is.

[Karlos]

See a bag of shriveled, dessicated male prepuce, that thanks to some nefarious and no-doubt disciplinable behaviour of a hospital incinerator operator, went missing on their way from a circumcision clinic to be destroyed? The same individual who was previously sticken off as a radiographer and served a prison sentence for having fed patients Polunium rather than Barium and giving them the largest doses of radiation he could  persuade the equipment to deliver, slowly cooking their viscera with his incompetence?

That's your midday snack, that is. That's your bag of "cheesy wotsits".

[Speelgoedmannetje]

Karlos wrote:
(time for a few visual gags. I found these and just knew I had to use them :lol:)

See that "Heino", as depicted on the cover of his single "Liebe Mutter" famed as one of the worst album covers of all time?



See his dreadful 1960's fashion victim appearence, thick rimmed glasses that look bad even compared to those given by the National Health Service during the 1970's? See his effeminite pout and general lack of manliness?

That's your idea of style that is. You tried to copy it, but he found out and challenged you. You subsequently lost a fight to him, you did. Then he bullied you for a decade before finally making you his "b!tch", pimping you around seedy clubs where he made you wear a leather thong and gimp mask whilst lecturing the reform period to groups of extremely "special interest" (read disturbed) perverts.

And that was your best ever job, that was.

:roflmao:
A friend of mine bought it at a flee market. It's cover was so bad he couldn't resist.
But beware, that's just one of the 'cultural jewels' Germany and the Netherlands have.
There's a whole camp world to explore. :roflmao:

[Karlos]

@Speel

A friend of mine bought it at a flee market

The kind you want to run away from, ey? ;-)

If they had stuff like that for sale, hardly surprising :lol:

[Speelgoedmannetje]

:lol:

Well, one can often find some rare old computer on flee markets, for a very nice price :-)

[CannonFodder]

See that bag of "cheesy wotsits" being gleefully masticated in a "cottage" down Clapham Common by an ex-convict from the colonies?

Thats the only mouthful of manly goodness you can get to satiate your junkie like addiction since Heino ditched you for Little Jimmy Osmond that is.

[Karlos]

Oh dear.

We appeared to have strayed somewhat from our brief this evening. If we could return to the subject of "Radicalism and Nationalism in the post World War II era"...

No doubt you have observed the detention centre situated in Guantanamo erected by the US to hold what the government has obliquely categorised as "illegal combatants". Held without charge, denied rights afforded to genuine prisoners of war and hence subject to many alleged incidents of torture and humiliation, this centre has been cited as an example of what a modern day, right leaning administraiton is capable of when it deludes the electorate that it is in their best interest.

Since opening, this insidious place has been subject to several changes of name. Indeed for a time, it was known as Camp X-Ray.

And that's your nickname, that is. They had to change the name when they found out that it was in such common use already, stemming from your Heino days, that you'd copyrighted it and as such were leaving themselves open to copyright infringement litigation.

[X-ray]

You are envious of my fame, and I won't stop you.

You display the incoherent ramblings of a common citizen who realises that he is in fact conversing with Professor F J Lewis himself.

[Karlos]

You're going to cry.

[X-ray]

Oh no I won't, you will. I never cry, I am Professor Lewis.

[X-ray]

You're crying now, aren't you.

[Karlos]

Yes, you are. You're blubbing right now.

[X-ray]

See the news crew out filming at your house because a second Niagara Falls has been discovered?
That's you crying, that is.
That's your tears of shame.