Groaner's Corner [was:EMINEM]

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The iraqui UN ambassador and George Bush meets in one of the hallways in the UN headquarters.

"Good morning, your exellence!" Bush says. "How are you today?"

"I'm fine thanks" the ambassador replies " but I have one question about the USA."

"What"

"My son loves Star Trek, but he can't understand why there are no arabians in the series. There are europeans, africans, asians, americans, even aliens, but there are no arabs. Why?"

Bush smiles an says: "That's because Star trek takes place in the future...

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One HUGE groan for Karlos... :-D

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Here's a cruel one:

Q: What happens when two gay men mix up super glue and vaseline?

A: The space shuttle crashes...

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What a freak! :-o  :-o  :-o

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A policeman stops a woman driving 70 Km/h on a 30 Km/h road.

 -Good evening, ma'm! Can I see your driver's licence, please? :roll:

 -Well, that'd be a bit tricky, I don't have one. :-)

 -OK, can I please see the papers on the car, then? :crazy:

 -I don't have them as the car is stolen. :-)

 -The car is stolen?!?! :-?

 -Yep! But wait a sec! I think I saw the papers when I put my gun in the glove compartment! :idea:

The policeman is starting to get a bit pale. :nervous:

 -You got a gun in the glove compartment?!? :-o

 -Yeah, I used it when I killed the owner of the car; she's still lying in the trunk. :-)

The policeman decides to call for reinforcements. :shocked:
Five minutes later, the car is surrounded by policemen. A detective approaches the car and asks again:

 -Can I see some ID, please? :evil:

 -Sure! :-)

The woman hands over a driver's licence.

 -Can I see the papers on the car? :evil:

The woman hands over the papers.

 -Please open you glove compartment... SLOWLY! :evil:

The woman opens the glove compartment. Of course, there's nothing in it.

 -And the trunk...:evil:

She pulls a lever and the trunk opens. It is empty aswell. The detective scratches his head.

 -I don't understand anything! My colleague said that you have no driver's licence, drive a stolen car, have a gun in the glove compartment and a dead body in the trunk!  :-?

 -Yeah, right! What's next? Didn't he accuse me of speeding aswell?!?!?  :-x

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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At last! I need some groaners today... :-D

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@Seehund
GROAN! :lol:

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So, there's a guy standing on a street corner and he sees a really ugly
woman standing next to a sign 'Stop here or follow the road to success'.

I'm not bl**dy stopping here he thinks, so walks along to the next street
corner where he sees a good looking lady next to the same sign 'Stop here
or follow the road to success'.

Getting better, he thinks - wonder what's a bit further along.

So off he strolls till he gets to the next corner where he sees a stunning
example of the female in all it's glory and he's thinking WOW. But, notices
the sign next to her 'Stop here or follow the road to success'.

Well he thinks, can't harm to just see what's on the next corner so off he
strolls, feeling ever so confident and drooling slightly.

As he walks along he notices the street become quieter and realises that
he's walking down a dead-end alley. As he gets to the end of it he looks
around but can't see anybody. Then he notices a smelly old drunk lying on
the ground with a sign next to him 'This is Cess. Suck here!

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There are these two friends, a white guy and a black guy.  One evening,
they're in a bar arguing over which of them can have sex the most times
in one night. They decide to settle the issue by going to the local
whorehouse and gathering experimental evidence, as it were.

So they get to the whorehouse, pair off with a couple of the ladies, and
go to their respective rooms.

The white guy energetically balls his whore and, reaching up with a pencil,
makes a " | " mark on the wall.  Then he falls asleep.  He wakes up in a
couple of hours and screws the whore again, albeit a little less
enthusiastically this time.  Again, he reaches back and marks a " | " on
the wall.  Again, he falls asleep.  He wakes up again in a couple of hours
and lethargically humps the hooker again.  He drowsily marks another ``|''
on the wall and falls asleep for the rest of the night.

The next morning, the black guy barges into the white guy's room to see how he
did.  He takes one look at the wall and exclaims:

"A hundred and eleven?!  You beat me by three!"

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:lol:

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GAAH! By the gods, that was funny!  :roflmao:
And yes, I'd be very pissed if anyone tried that on me... :-D

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:laughing:
It's back! I hope this thread will never die! :-D

Anyway, for more friday-afternoon leveled humour, try http://demonripper.myftp.org/temp/Pingu.wmv
It's in Swedish, but it's hillarious! :lol:

Oh, if you have Swedish minors around, be aware that it contains some phrases that are not entirely politically correct. As long as the kids can't read you're safe.

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;-)

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Doobrey wrote:
Did you hear about the Swedish guy who found God after rehab?

.....He was a Bjorn-again Christian.

:roll:

You forgot the dots; it's Björn. And it's pronounced Bjuhn, not Bjorn.
Funny though, Björn means bear! :-)

Ok, I'll stop now...