;-) Time for another fun one. I'm using up all of my best material here, so I hope it's appreciated.
This time, our salesman is in a hotel, on the East coast. Now, when I say that he’s in the hotel, I really mean that he’s in the restaurant on the top floor of the hotel. And actually, when I say that he’s in the restaurant on the top of the hotel, he’s actually in the tavern, just off of the restaurant on the top floor of the hotel.
Now the stranger seated next to him is explaining that because the plaza below has buildings adjacent to the hotel arranged in a “V” formation, the wind that comes in from the seaboard is focused against the base of the hotel, so the updraft is tremendous. Further, the stranger explains that because the face of the hotel building is curved, like a celery stalk, the rising wind doesn’t spill around the edges of the building as it might with a different architecture. “Therefore,” he concludes, “the updraft outside that window is so strong, that if you were to jump out of it, the wind would blow you right back in.”
Our hero is dubious. “Oh, I’m sure the wind is strong, for all of the reasons that you explained, but I’m not quite convinced that it’s as strong as you say.”
The stranger smiles. “I’ll bet you a hundred bucks you could do it.”
Our hero pauses: “A hundred dollars? Well, --Oh wait, I get it. I’ll win the bet, by falling to my death, but you’ll still collect the money. No, sir, you almost had me there, but I’m not that drunk.”
The stranger says “I’ll jump.”
And our hero says “—You’ll jump? Okay sir, you’ve got yourself a bet.”
So our hero sets a hundred dollars down on the bar, and the stranger matches it. The stranger walks to the window and undoes the latch. The panes burst open, the curtains are flapping in the gales, the little candles at the tables are blowing out, and the stranger is pushed back, stumbling a bit before he braces himself. Then he takes a breath, rushes forward and dives over the sill.
Our hero runs to the window and looks down to see the stranger tumbling down, down, until the stranger opens his coat to catch the air. Now he’s slowing, now he’s hovering, now he’s rising, rising, and our hero just has time to duck to the side before the wind blows the stranger back into the tavern, rolling on the floor. The stranger rises to his feet, brushes the dust from his clothes, and gives a little bow.
Our hero is impressed. With his jaw agape, he latches the window and returns to the bar. There, he pushes all the money toward the stranger and concedes: “Here you go, sir. That’s all yours, you’ve earned it.” Our hero orders another drink and looks at the window. Then he orders another drink and looks at the window. Finally, he decides that he just has to try it for himself.
“Bet you a hundred bucks that you don’t have the guts,” offers the stranger.
“You’re on!” smiles our hero, “here’s a chance for me to win my money back.” And he sets more money on the bar and walks to the window, just as the stranger had before him. He undoes the latch, just as had the stranger before him. Just as it had for the stranger before him, the wind blows the window open, flaps the curtains about, and extinguishes the little candles on the nearby tables. Likewise, our hero is staggered at first, until he regains his footing, and braces himself. Then, just as had the stranger before him, our hero takes a quick breath, runs forward, and dives over the sill.
He tumbles down, down, then he opens his coat! --And he tumbles down, down,…
The stranger strolls to the window, latches it back up and returns to the bar. He pushes all of the money toward the bartender and instructs him. “Just keep them coming until that runs out.”
Shaking his head, the bartender fills the stranger’s glass, and confides: “Boy, golly, Superman, you sure are mean when you get drunk.”
