Ned Scum 2: Revenge of the charvers!

[that_punk_guy]

Chris sat down, content in the knowledge that his tormentors of the past - the filthy, diseased, antisocial rodents at No. 28 - were far, far away. The house was quiet and all was well. Chris was no longer afraid to go into his back garden.

Then one night, it all changed for the worse yet again. Loud, repetitive techno was heard reverberating down through the walls. It started at 10pm and was still going at 11 the following morning. This was accompanied by shouts and bangs and all the usual bad signs... The charvers were back!

Chris decided this time to nip it in the bud right away, so he banged on the door at about 9am hoping to come to some kind of agreement. When he identified himself as the next door neighbour, they told him to f**k off. He went back home and started to plot the ultimate revenge, but was rudely interrupted by a knock at the door.

Chav girl: "Do you mind us playing the music?"
Chris: "Yes."
Chav girl: "Why?"
Chris: "It's too loud."
Chav girl "What, now?"
Chris: "Bye." (shuts door)

Later the filthy chavster in question called again and explained that that night was a one-off housewarming party and that it was over (although it didn't sound over, and the music continued for another two hours).

Chris goes shopping. Chris comes home. Chris tidies the house. Chris is stood by the door when some scumbag decides to pour cider through the letterbox onto my carpet. Chris confronts said charver and he acts none the wiser.

Chris fantasizes about carving off his nipples and rubbing vinegar into the wounds.

God freaking damn it! :-x

[Speelgoedmannetje]

ehm, don't post this
makes it difficult to keep up our anti-gun point.

[KennyR]

Uhh...chavs with guns. What a nightmare that would be. They're bad enough with fireworks and air rifles! Having the ability to shoot a chav wouldn't make them any more polite, it would just result in a lot of dead chavs, a lot of vendettas, and a lot of decent people going to jail for murdering chavs who just pushed it too far.

Chris, if they play loud music at 10pm again, don't hesitate - call the police. You're within your rights under the Antisocial Behaviour act and Breach of the Peace laws. If the police don't do anything, phone them again. And again.

[Vincent]

KennyR wrote:
Chris, if they play loud music at 10pm again, don't hesitate - call the police. You're within your rights until the Antisocial Behaviour act and Breach of the Peace laws. If the police don't do anything, phone them again. And again.

And make sure the operator can hear the music loudly while you are speaking to her, although not too loud so she can't hear you ;-)

[T_Bone]

it's strange as hell that in America we don't have an equivalent to these people, most of us wouldn't be able to identify one of them if we saw them. :lol:

[T_Bone]

Emilio Estevez?!
:lol:

[FluffyMcDeath]

that_punk_guy wrote:

Chav girl: "Do you mind us playing the music?"
Chris: "Yes."
Chav girl: "Why?"
Chris: "It's too loud."
Chav girl "What, now?"
Chris: "Bye." (shuts door)

You're not going to get anywhere if each side keels telling the other to piss off whenever anyone tries to talk about it. Neighbours who like each other tend not to piss each other off so much and neighbours that hate each other just keep escalating the hatred because both sides believe that the other side is the ass who is to blame and deserves whatever greif they get.

[that_punk_guy]

FluffyMcDeath wrote:
You're not going to get anywhere if each side keels telling the other to piss off whenever anyone tries to talk about it. Neighbours who like each other tend not to piss each other off so much and neighbours that hate each other just keep escalating the hatred because both sides believe that the other side is the ass who is to blame and deserves whatever greif they get.

You're right, of course... Any kind of action I take - be that calling the police or a negative confrontation (I can't have a positive one until I'm happy with their behaviour) will be perceived as an attack, then I get more cider through the letterbox or graffitti. I don't know if I should suffer the noise or make a (potentially futile) attempt to stop it. If I try the latter, it will get worse before it gets better. :-(

[KennyR]

FluffyMcDeath wrote:
You're not going to get anywhere if each side keels telling the other to piss off whenever anyone tries to talk about it. Neighbours who like each other tend not to piss each other off so much and neighbours that hate each other just keep escalating the hatred because both sides believe that the other side is the ass who is to blame and deserves whatever greif they get.

You can't reason with certain people, and Britain's chavs, neds, and charvers are these kind of people. They don't know the meaning of respect or compromise and asking them politely to be more sociable is likely to make them just as pissed as as shouting at them. The only real way to get them off your back is to ignore them. Or smash their teeth in. Unfortunately they tend to gather in gangs, so unless your gang is bigger...

[KennyR]

T_Bone wrote:
it's strange as hell that in America we don't have an equivalent to these people, most of us wouldn't be able to identify one of them if we saw them.

Well, you do really, except they're bristling with guns and living in very high crime neighbourhoods in the inner city slums and ghettos, and put caps in each other's asses for dissin' each other. Ours are just the same, except without guns. Or hard drugs (most of the time).

[T_Bone]

KennyR wrote:

T_Bone wrote:
it's strange as hell that in America we don't have an equivalent to these people, most of us wouldn't be able to identify one of them if we saw them.

Well, you do really, except they're bristling with guns and living in very high crime neighbourhoods in the inner city slums and ghettos, and put caps in each other's asses for dissin' each other. Ours are just the same, except without guns. Or hard drugs (most of the time).

Ours arn't as homogenous as yours though, there's no way you'd be able to identify them as a group.

[KennyR]

T_Bone wrote:
Ours arn't as homogenous as yours though, there's no way you'd be able to identify them as a group.

True. In fact, 'homogenous' might be a bit of an understatement. 'Clones' would be better. They're terrified to wear anything different or have any style that isn't 100% the same as the rest of them. Considering how chavs attack anything different from them, that's understandable. Wearing a pair of jeans for instance is a corporal offence in chav culture, punishable by loud shouting, abuse, spitting, and punching and kicking where the numbers of chavs exceed the numbers of victims.

[Karlos]

Perhaps we can arrange some charver only warehouse parties. Ensure the doormen only allow the genuine "cheap argos gold ersatz-bling, shellsuit, trainer and baseball cap" wearing charvers inside. Once you got a worthwhile number in there, lock it up, and start pumping anasthetic in there.

Once they're all unconcious, take them off for intensive decharverification treatment...

If that doesn't work, simply pump hydrogen cyanide into the place, instead :-x

:oops: Did I really say that?

[cecilia]

Chris: your 1st mistake was actually going over to them and letting them know who you are when complainig about their noise pollution.

When I have been in similar situations I just call the cops and make a report. depending on various factors that only the police know about, they may or may not show up.
If the police Do come by, the noisy neighbors never know its YOU that called the cops on them.

and if you make a report everytime they make noise, their file gets bigger.
and bigger.

[whabang]

@Cecilia
I don't really agree with that.
I play loud music (yes, uhn-tss, uhn-tss and so on) sometimes.
If my neighbours for some reason wouldn't like that (I turn the volume down after 10 in the evenings) they could just ask me to turn it down.
Calling the police the first time seems a little exaggerated...