The current situation, conspiracy theories please

[Targhan]

Look, Wayne, it's time to give it up.  Our next target is MacOS, so let's just move on.  I don't think Bush will fund our anti-common-sense campaign any longer.  We need to move on to the anti-originality mission.

(let's hope we can get there before the former BeOS interference committee can)

[KennyR]

You're all overlooking the most insidious and evil cause of this whole affair - SHAMPOO.

Yes, that's right. This hair cosmetic hasn't just got a silly random name, its name is actually made of two English words, SHAM and POO. Sham in that doesn't really care for your hair, and poo because it is made of PURE HUMAN ORDURE. When you wash your hair your putting POO ON YOUR HEAD!!!

The cumulative effective of lathering with this evil fertiliser-based concoction is affecting our minds, slowly taking over our thoughts. If half the community are nasty, stirring negative trolls and the other half are sickening apologist sycophants, it's SHAMPOOS FAULT!!!

How can we tackle this shampoo threat?? Well, there are ways:

1) Go for the billiard ball look. This will totally remove any need for "sham-poo". Bald men claim to be far more intelligent and virile than their lesser hairy brethren. Unfortunately can get you called Dr. Evil or other such names.

2) Don't wash your hair at all. Unfortunately this has the gradual side-effect of turning people into anti-capitalism protesters, especially if coupled with the wearing of orange anoraks. This could be worse in many ways.

3) Wash your hair with sulphuric acid. If dilute enough, this will not destroy your hair or indeed your head, but will cleanse your hair of all dirt. If too concentrated, it is possible that the blood will help dilute it anyway. Either way its a win-win situation.

This community is under threat, and the question remains, how long will it be before YOU do anything about it??

[redrumloa]

@Targhan

Hmm.. Dammit I need proof! I havn't read it on the Amiga Inc website so you better provide proof!

[T_Bone]

heres a conspiracy...

Bill Buck set up KMOS himself and will soon go public that he tricked Amiga Inc into selling the code to him.

[Argo]

Way ahead of you Red. I got my aluminum foil hat on. ha.

[legion]

Actually, its the hidden agenda of us liberals.  Here it is, in order:

1)  Kill all the babies.

2)  Give control of the government to islamic, communist hippie crack-addicted mothers from the inner city.

3)  Take all your money and give it to satan.

4)  Prevent Amiga from ever seeing the light of day.

Our plot is revealed!   :lol:

[Targhan]

@redrumloa

Due to Mick Tinker's vacationing with the mutant human subsurface races near or around Area-51, I can only provide circumstantual evidence.  However, in the Amiga arena, you will find this quite satisfactory.

In his dark office, behind yet another A2000 keyboard, Harv Laser headed up the effort, originally giving me my chance to enter the frey as an unimportant employee at AntiGravity products under the escaped alien, Niela Phase and her protoge, Dan Lutz.  

Pulling the strings from behind the dark curtains of Roswell, Harv Laser introduced me to one Bolton Peck--my partner while at AntiGravity.  Eventually, the BoXeR project lost it's ability to destroy the community, Dan Lutz dissappeared, Niela began AlienWare to torment PC-Gamers, and Bolton and I were re-assigned.

Since it is well know that Bolton went to work for Amiga Inc, I went to work for Genesi, and that we are friends, there is no other explaination than that of which I speak is true.  Yes, there is no other explaination than this is all intertwined for your entertainment, and to prevent the injection of common sense into the current IT world...

--

Brought to you by the Malted Milk Council of Earth  

[BigBenAussie]

That soccer player is called David Icke.

We keep focusing on the morphing decendents of the aliens who came to earth thousands of years ago, like Bush and Kerry, that are ruling the earth now, rather than the main threat, which is those aliens on the 4th dimension that the Freemasons worship.

The Orion Queen wont be here to herd us up as cattle for a good 8 years and no-one has mentioned that meteor hurtling to earth, so enjoy yourself in the meantime.

Please, don't panic, because we live in a psycho-spiritual matrix anyway, and are connected to everything. Its all a game and nothing is real according to a future life of mine.

 :-?

[whabang]

Argo wrote:
Way ahead of you Red. I got my aluminum foil hat on. ha.

Look at my sig. I know you want to! MWUAAHAHAAAAAAARW! :evilgrin:

[whabang]

People often blame the mess in the computer industry on M$, but the truth is that it goes far deeper than that.
It all started back in the fifties when computers started to become more and more common: allmost every western government had one (Except for Sweden. Sweden's first computer was for doing metreological calculations, but that is another story! :-D).
The man who started it all was no other than Adolph Hitler. Yes, it's true! He fled to the states under the name "Bertram Binkel" when the war was over, and got himself a job as a janitor at the defence ministry, where one of the computers was located.
Eager for revenge, he learnt some simple programming and started to write the first routines for the mind control system that consists of electronic radiation emitted by electronic devices. He was planning to make the US poplutaion into nazi pirates who would roam the seas killing  everything,
Hitler was not very careful in his work however, so he was caught pretty quick. Nobody really know what happened to him, but the technology that he developed was developed further by the government.
The responsibility of spreading the mind control devices hass been passed between different large corporations since then. Currently, it is in the hands of Bill Gates. His OS, Windows, has been spread all over the world, ensuring that no computer using persons will ever harm the free economy. Mind you that the mind-control waves cannot be stopped by copper computers, but they can certainly be created!
Microsoft, being patriotic and all, has tried to erase all competition in order to fulfill their duties. Apple is still around, but that is only because they are supported by the russians (who have their own plot, but that's another story). Amiga has been infiltrated but, in a last act of free will, Bill McEwen managed to sell of the rights to AmigaOS to a third part before the evil men got to it.
This doesn't matter, of course, as the staff at Hyperion use Windows on their secondary machines, thus are under the influence of GW.

WE'RE DOOMED!

 :-D

[uncharted]

Well since you've asked, I know that whole deal behind EVERYTHING that's happened since 1994.

The truth is.....

HUH? How did you find me?

What's that you've got there?

Oh no! Oh dear god no!

Please! I beg you! Noooooooooooooooooo*BANG* *THUD*

[redrumloa]

legion wrote:
Actually, its the hidden agenda of us liberals.  Here it is, in order:

1)  Kill all the babies.

2)  Give control of the government to islamic, communist hippie crack-addicted mothers from the inner city.

3)  Take all your money and give it to satan.

4)  Prevent Amiga from ever seeing the light of day.

Our plot is revealed!   :lol:

I knew it!! I knew it!! :shocked:

[whabang]

This thread deserves a :-D

[chris]

It has long been rumoured that the Amiga was based on Alien technology.  This is actually true.  The original design team stole the technology from a UFO crash site, and used it to their advantage.  The aliens eventually found out and planted an incompetent management team in Commodore's offices in order to take them out.  After several key members of the dev team myseriously vanished and the schematics for the AAA chipset were lost before Commodore had managed to fully reproduce them using readily available Earth elements, the company was already on a downward spiral.  The US government was aware of the bright lights and strange activity seen around Commodore's HQ and intervened, as they wanted the alien technology for themselves.  The liquidation and auction of assets was actually a cover-up for the small-scale interplanetery war which then ensued as the Earthlings and aliens both tried to get their hands on the technology.  The war still continues, with the technology changing hands every couple of years, but with the Earthlings struggling to get hold of any newer hardware the war is appearing to come to a close.  We have had to design the new hardware on Earth with no alien involvement, and only small amounts of updated operating system code have been retrieved.  The current Mars rover missions are designed to bring back new Amigas from the alien underground manufacturing base on Mars (the search for water is of course just another cover-up, they are actually trying to locate Amiga Mars' new offices after the company was thrown out of their old building for not paying the rent)

Chris

[woody57]

It has to be said that truth is always stranger than fiction

  This all began with a game called pong & being simple & addictive this was picked up on by various goverment agencies and multinational corporations

 Earlier posters have also made the correct link to the subliminal mind control effects of strobing light from certain early consuls & PC's

 This control coding often likened to hypnosis is dependant on a willing subject .

 Hence the game or application was merely the bait to HOOK new TECHNO JUNKIES for their SUBCONCIOUS FIX.


 It is easy to forget that in the begining there exhisted other independant platforms  but the console & computor wars 0f the 80's ensured one by one the death of independant competion from Acorn /amstrad / BBC /Mx etc

 Till finally in a mistake of concentrating in the wrong area the only other afordable independant choice Atari was removed


 We all know that today its only the expensive software & games that are promoted as they weaned victims away from failed platforms with their promises of plug N Play and easy cheatcode modes.

 Conspiracy YES the power behind the message that ensnares otherwise healthy young men to play in a fantasy realm

 While the corupt real world seldom gets spotted as the programed consumer is PLUGGED into his mobile & portable devices that strangle their abiltity to see WHATS REALY HAPPENING !


 The matrix was a cash in to hide the the truth by blowing it out of proportion and into a magnificent fantasy .


 The truth is greyer ,  darker it is not a big brother of 1984 ilk that destroyed the Amiga light of rebelion .


 It is a whole network of global companies & puppet goverments


  Are you ready to wake up now ?

[matt3k]

It all comes together now...

1) Kill all the babies  - Abortion (Check)

2) Give control of the government to islamic, communist hippie crack-addicted mothers from the inner city. - Ignoring Declaration of Independence, Allowing Supreme Court to create laws, creating laws that discourage marriage and family for monetary gain.  (Check)

3) Take all your money and give it to satan. - Amend constitution to create the IRS and give a preemptive right to our money and fund agencies that are influenced by the dark one, 'planned' parenthood, etc.  (Check)

4) Prevent Amiga from ever seeing the light of day. - Irving Gould was an elitist, who crippled the Amiga in such way that recovery would be near impossible. (Check)