Really not the place for it, but trust me, Ive had more than my fair share of pain and sorrow in my life. My father was (literally) a homicidal lunatic and Ive seen him carry out his actions on family with my own 2 eyes. I was tortured for the first 13 years of my life until I escaped, although ended back in his clutches more than a few times. I could fill more than a few books with my lifes adventures, my father only being one aspect of some of my misfortunes. Life goes on, and I hold no grudges, but Im not of the belief it's something to cling onto at all cost and I maintain that I'd rather have a short enjoyable life than hanging around for the sake of it.... without joy, there's nothing.
I wont elaborate on any of the more horrific details, but thought I should touch on a few things Ive had to deal with, as anyone can write "I've had it tough too" (and believe that its true,.. everyone has what they consider bad relative to what theyve experienced).
I had some minor surgery today (kinda exciting in a weird way

so I hope the anaesthetic hasnt sent me too loopy that my judgement is jaded in deciding to touch on why I believe what I believe. I guess I can delete or edit the post when Im more clear headed if need be at least.