Glasgow Survival Guide

[Wilse]

If any of you are intending to visit this fair city, you may want to peruse the Glasgow Survival Guide.

Check out the "Nedagotchi" - brilliant.

:roflmao:

[Cyberus]

 :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:

That's one cool site! I like the weapons guide

What are eccies?

[Calen]

Nedagotchi

The universal language that is Buckfast  :-D

They should use it as a paint stripper :-)

[Cyberus]

just checked out the nedagotchi

that's fookin brilliant!!!!

edit: and the gallery!

honestly, I think these guys are universal, down here we call them chavs, townies, pikeys, or simply 'geezers'

[Wilse]

What are eccies?

Ask mdma. ;-) :-P

[Cyberus]

Ah gotcha, dunno why I didn't twig that... ;-)

[Cyberus]

edit: double post

[KennyR]

:lol:

I wonder if this gives non-Scots second thoughts about visiting our country? I bet before this y'all thought it was all green glens and men in skirts dancing around swords, huh?

[meerschaum]

That site was hilarious, I still dont understand what a ned is though, besides the funky accent all those people that site calls 'neds' just look like normal kids, over here in the US they would probably be considered 'clean cut' kids... I didnt see anything associated with counter culture or hiphop (the cultures an old fogey would be inclined to dislike)  divergences of it in them. No facial pierceing, tattoo's, strange amulets, long or otherwise massively altered hair, branding, extremeist clothing (i.e dressed all in black, all in chains, all in whatever) they looked pretty...well...normal? (if such a term exists anymore)

The accent is crazy though, I thought I spoke english... bieng from the us I've heard quite a few accents and I can generally understand what the person means... but that! wow... no offense at all... but I couldnt understand a thing ya'd say probably (and maybe thats the way ya want it???  :-D  )

[KennyR]

Meerschaum wrote:
That site was hilarious, I still dont understand what a ned is though, besides the funky accent all those people that site calls 'neds' just look like normal kids, over here in the US they would probably be considered 'clean cut' kids...

Neds love drinking, shouting at people, petty crime, and basically being the most annoying little bastards in existence. They have no redeeming features whatsoever: they don't work, they have lots of kids they don't pay to keep (which then the state have to pay to raise), they're no value to society, everywhere they go they bring drugs and crime. It's really as if they're a subhuman race caused by pollution or inbreeding. Of course, that's not the case...but it still seems like it.

[that_punk_guy]

I live next to these people!  :lol: They're certainly not purely a Scottish phenomena  :-D

KennyR wrote:

I wonder if this gives non-Scots second thoughts about visiting our country?

I'd love to go to Scotland. Closest I've been is Carlisle, about 3 weeks ago. We got BBC Scotland though!  ;-)

meerschaum wrote:

That site was hilarious, I still dont understand what a ned is though, besides the funky accent all those people that site calls 'neds' just look like normal kids, over here in the US they would probably be considered 'clean cut' kids... I didnt see anything associated with counter culture or hiphop

Neds or chavs aren't really anything to do with a 'counter-culture' or any kind of scene, be it musical or whatever (although most of them listen to nasty techno "choons")... in terms of dress they are more inclined to wear tracksuits or shellsuits than the rest of the population but the main things that distinguish neds from the rest of us are (a) their anti-social behaviour - making trouble for no reason, breaking bottles over people's heads, shouting at the top of their voices down the street at each other at 3am, etc, (b) their stupidity and (c) their complete inability to speak coherently.

 :-)

Edit: Sorry, I edited this like, 10 times for typos and stuff :-)

[meerschaum]

well as an outsider looking in the Neds just dont look like how you describe them.

A lowlife usually looks like a lowlife, a counter culturalist looks like a counter culturalist, a hip hopper looks like a hip hopper, etc etc.. its strange.

[KennyR]

Neds might look like hiphoppers in those pics, but there are distinct differences. Neds are like what happens if you take a bunch of smelly retards and dress them up in (a very limited choice of) hiphop gear.

· They all look the same. Seriously. They all dress the same, wear the same brands (nike, kappa, etc), and have the same haircuts (gel on the front, making it look like they've stuck the front of their head in a bucket of grease). They're scared to look different, since neds will attack anything that's different without provocation. A gang of neds look like they've been cloned from the same bad egg cell.

· They wear white, which is not generally the best colour for people who never wash their clothes. Their stuff is usually dirty and disgusting.  They generally smell of marijuana, bootleg cigarettes, ultra-cheap drink, and last night's fish and chip shop sausage supper. A real hiphop fan would never let themselves get into such a condition.

· They prefer rave and hard techno, not hip hop. In fact, most neds won't even know what hip hop is. They'll probably say it sounds "poofy".

[iamaboringperson]

Strange...

While in Melbourne the other day, I was thinking about what 'smallish' cities might be like. In particular, I was thinking about Glasgow!

I was mainly wondering about how large the city was.

It's interesting that you created this thread and pointed to this web site.
Havn't read it all yet, but are there any sky-scrapers in Glasgow?
I saw some of the pictures there, and it looks pretty flat for a city.
Whats the population?

I realise this site is ment to be a joke, so I'll read the rest later. (Little time, ya see)

[iamaboringperson]

So these "NED's" wouldn't be named after the "Simpsons" character "Ned Flanders", would they?