Yeah, sort of an Holy Grail, huh ?
On *every* other OS I find myself wishing for an utility like that, I mean it's essential !
Well, TOP does a good job of showing actual processes, and the Gnome GUI for it (Gtop) is quite impressive and powerful. Strace can help you too.
But no such gem as snoopdos or even scout.
If you're a PERL guru, then you know what to do

pX