My favourite religious joke

[bloodline]

In light of one of Metalman's recent comments, I decided to share one of my favourite jokes:



I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"

"Religious."

"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"



****** WAIT FOR IT *********







To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

[Karlos]

:lol:

[metalman]

bloodline wrote:
In light of one of Metalman's recent comments, I decided to share one of my favourite jokes:


"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"



****** WAIT FOR IT *********







To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

 :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:

Must be a Primitive Baptists founded 1832

I was told that if you tell a Jehovah's Witness that you are a Primitative Baptist they will leave quickly!

[whabang]

Brillant! :lol:

[bloodline]

In ancient Rome, a Christian was thrown to a lion.

"Oh Lord," prayed the Christian, "Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion." And then, in the silence that followed, the Christian heard the lion praying too:

"Oh Lord," the lion prayed, "We thank Thee for the food which we are about to receive."

[Speelgoedmannetje]

:lol: @ thread

[PMC]

An old one but I couldn't resist:

Comparative analysis of Religious Truths

Taosim - Sh1t happens
Confucianism - Confucius says "Sh1t happens"
Buddhism - If sh1t happens it isn't rally sh1t
Zen Buddhism - Sh1t happens... sh1t happens... sh1t happens...
Islam - If sh1t happens then it is the will of Allah
Judaism - Why does this sh1t keep happening to us?
Catholicism - If sh1t happens then you deserved it
Hinduism - This sh1t happened before
Atheism - I don't believe this sh1t!
Rastafarianism - Let's roll this sh1t up and smoke it!

[Speelgoedmannetje]

:roflmao:

I guess I am a rastafarian...

[Karlos]

Islam - If sh1t happens then it is the will of Allah

Back in the day when I first heard it, it was

"If sh*t happens, take it hostage" :lol:

Shows you the vintage of this one, eh? :-D

[bloodline]

"Bad weather is God's way of telling us we should burn more Catholics" - Blackadder

bloodline wrote:
"Bad weather is God's way of telling us we should burn more Catholics" - Blackadder

:roflmao:

[PMC]

My favorite religious joke is Ian Paisley.  

[Cymric]

Unfortunately, when people get that much influence it's not a joke anymore.

[bloodline]

Cymric wrote:
Unfortunately, when people get that much influence it's not a joke anymore.

Just because it isn't funny, doesn't mean it's not a joke ;-)

[Cyberus]

And just because it isn't a joke, doesn't mean its not funny




or something :insane: