Grumpy old men...

[X-ray]

You guys can take comfort in one thing: for every ten of you there is one of me. When everything is turning to crap around me, I just think to myself "Isn't this another fine mess we've got ourselves into, eh?"
Of course, there are times when a little surliness is warranted. Here's an example:

I was asked to X-ray  a 50 year-old-woman in the casualty department, using a mobile X-ray machine. When I got there and stepped into the cubicle I found a very obese woman there who was short of breath and not entirely 'with it'. She had an oxygen mask on and her eyes were half-closed. As I lowered the trolley side down, this woman started puking. Most of it was going into the face-mask, but there were two streams of puke that escaped via the intakes. The left stream decorated my left trouser leg. I had to pull the mask off (puke flying everywhere) otherwise the woman would have choked on her own vomit. I said "Okay, my dear, we'll clean you up, don't worry" and I was reaching to untie the elastic that secured the mask so I could throw it away.....

BAM !!!!

This woman punched me so hard that I got a yellow flash in my vision. She connected me on the right zygoma (cheek bone) quite a good shot. Well, I stepped back, blinking a bit, and looking around for a nurse, but they were at the nurses station. There was definitely something wrong with this woman, she was not all there, if you know what I mean. I shouted out "Nurse! I need a hand here!"
I started backing the X-ray machine towards the curtain, and then approached one more time to try to get the trolley side back up and the mask off. And that's when this woman did something that I have yet to see again: she cupped here hands betwween her legs, urinated in her hands and then threw that at me. I didn't get the whole lot, but several drops hit me on the neck and shoulder.
And that's when I got grumpy. But that's understandable.

But generally, I'm a happy guy and it takes a lot to get me down. I work nicely under pressure and I don't rely on people too much. I find life to be more manageable that way. If you're in a fix and it looks hopeless, that's when I am a gem.
Of course, I do irritate my colleagues from time to time. Just yesterday at lunch several girls were complaining about working weekend shifts (they couldn't swap with someone else) which means that some of them can't go on a group snowboarding trip. I hushed the whole table and gave them this line:

"Ask not what your hospital can do for you...but what you can do for your hospital"

 :lol:

(I almost got several bowls of spaghetti tipped on me)

[Vincent]

X-ray wrote:
(I almost got several bowls of spaghetti tipped on me)

:lol:
I bet the only reason it was "almost" was due to "office proffesionalism" :-P

[X-ray]

@ Vince

 :lol:   Yes you're right.

I like to mix in some quotes for the girls from time to time. Here's another one I told them (when they were moaning about their pay and their hours):

"Never before has so much work been done by so many girls, for so few bucks"

And another one that almost cost me a kick in the groin (but I was too quick for her):

"Put a smile on your dial, toots. After all, a happy worker is a productive worker"

[Doobrey]

Vincent wrote:

Doobrey wrote:
Shame they wouldn`t let me demonstrate what I could do with a 400W PSU and some crocodile clips... :evilgrin:

:lol:

You'd have to ask them where they keep their crocodile clips first :-P

Already got that one covered.. 6" nails make excellent wire wrap terminals  :-o  
 And before you ask, go next door to Homebase, and you`ll find them between the hedgetrimmers and the shower curtains..unless it`s a Wednesday when they rearrange the entire store again just in case anyone could actually find something without resorting to using GPS. :pissed:

[Wilse]

@X-Ray:

I was asked to X-ray a 50 year-old-woman in the casualty department, using a mobile X-ray machine. When I got there and stepped into the cubicle I found a very obese woman there who was short of breath and not entirely 'with it'. She had an oxygen mask on and her eyes were half-closed. As I lowered the trolley side down, this woman started puking. Most of it was going into the face-mask, but there were two streams of puke that escaped via the intakes. The left stream decorated my left trouser leg. I had to pull the mask off (puke flying everywhere) otherwise the woman would have choked on her own vomit. I said "Okay, my dear, we'll clean you up, don't worry" and I was reaching to untie the elastic that secured the mask so I could throw it away.....

BAM !!!!

This woman punched me so hard that I got a yellow flash in my vision. She connected me on the right zygoma (cheek bone) quite a good shot. Well, I stepped back, blinking a bit, and looking around for a nurse, but they were at the nurses station. There was definitely something wrong with this woman, she was not all there, if you know what I mean. I shouted out "Nurse! I need a hand here!"
I started backing the X-ray machine towards the curtain, and then approached one more time to try to get the trolley side back up and the mask off. And that's when this woman did something that I have yet to see again: she cupped here hands betwween her legs, urinated in her hands and then threw that at me. I didn't get the whole lot, but several drops hit me on the neck and shoulder.
And that's when I got grumpy. But that's understandable.

Farking right it's understandible! :laughing:

X-Ray,  I know it probably wasn't funny at the time but I almost spat my beer out when I read that. I hope you'll excuse me.

I'm going to get Susan to read this in a minute - I know she'll be able to relate. :lol:

Cheers sir! :pint:

[Speelgoedmannetje]

FluffyMcDeath wrote:
Would you kids quit yer yammerin'?
Some of us are trying to get a little shut-eye.

:lol:

/hides

[X-ray]

@ Wilse

Yup, I wasn't happy at the time! But it is very funny when I think of it today. Who else do you know who got puked on, punched, and pissed on by the same person in the space of five minutes?

That has to be a record of some kind. It is a guaranteed Source of Grumpiness.

[that_punk_guy]

Ugh. I was eating when I read that.

[mikeymike]

@ X-Ray

Weren't you warned that she wasn't entirely 'with it'?

Also, what country are you living in?  I wouldn't be surprised at all if you said 'UK', due to the competence of the NHS

[Vincent]

X-ray wrote:
"Never before has so much work been done by so many girls, for so few bucks"

:roflmao:

@Doobrey

That sounds like our local Tesco.  Although it's just their fruit and veggies that keep changing.  Bloody annoying going down one isle to get tatties only to discover they've been yo-yo'd back to the other isle less than 2 days later :-x

[X-ray]

@ mikeymike

"..Weren't you warned that she wasn't entirely 'with it'?.."


-------------------------------------------------------

Hell, no. I was the guy they sent in to see if she was compis mentis.
When I came back in the condition I was, the doctor had the diagnosis without rolling his sleeves up.
 :lol:

That happened in SA, but the twisted Roosevelt and Churchill quotes I reserve for my colleagues here in London.

[mikeymike]

heh.  What country are you from?

[X-ray]

South Africa

[PMC]

X-ray wrote:
South Africa

Having briefly lived there myself I can report that despite the sunshine and rich culture, many South Africans manage to be Grumpy Old Men.

Speaking of which, I saw "The Aviator" yesterday at the cinema and sat behind a group of pensioners.  A trailer was shown for Orange mobile phones featuring Patrick Swayze.

"What a load of old crap!" remarked the chap in front, and was rewarded with a big grin for his astute observation.

[redrumloa]

@X-Ray

Man was that gross, you must be putting us on :-?

I guess you didn't ask for a date.

[X-ray]

@ Red

I must say if someone else told me a story like that I wouldn't believe it, but it is very true. It happened exactly as I recounted it. Sometimes some really comical things happen in hospitals.

Ooooooooh that just reminded me of a VERY grumpy patient we had one day. This gentleman was in his 70s and was originally from the far east (I think Japan, but nobody confirmed it at the time). He had been brought from the ward to the X-ray department on a wheelchair, and up until he was brought into the X-ray room, he was sweet as pie. I saw the porter pushing this gent on the chair into the room and I didn't notice anything odd about him. I just carried on writing in the register and two of the girls went to X-ray the guy. Well, everything was okay for a minute or two, then all of a sudden there was a crash as the wheelchair was bashed into the door and I could hear the girls shouting from inside. I thought to myself "Damn, they've allowed him to fall out of the wheelchair" and I went to see what was going on.
Well, the girls were cowering behind the X-ray control panel, and this elderly gentleman had adopted a kung-fu fighting stance and wouldn't let any of us near him. He was wild as a snake and couldn't speak any English. He was doing all these crazy moves and smacked the wall several times, very hard. This guy must have been a tough customer when he was a lad, and he was still tough enough for me to be worried, in his seveties. I immediately got the girls out and tried to make little signs to the guy (from the doorway) that everything was cool, and thankfully he didn't come out to kick some arse, because I don't know what would have happened if he did.

Apparently there was no reason for this outburst, even though I demanded to know from the girls why the chap flipped out like that. They did nothing to annoy him. He suddenly jumped out of the chair, kicked it against the door and almost gave them a few clips around their earholes. The guy was confused. We couldn't X-ray him and eventually when he had settled himself down, he allowed himself to be wheeled back to the ward.

Of course I took his name down and circulated it to the radiographers and warned them about him because he could give someone a clip one night when they go alone to X-ray him with a mobile machine on the ward.