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Author Topic: Scratched testicles, and other anecdotes...  (Read 5589 times)

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Offline X-rayTopic starter

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Re: Scratched testicles, and other anecdotes...
« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2004, 09:03:03 PM »
"..Man you sure come out with some odd stories..."


That's because I'm odd  :-P
 

Offline Wilse

Re: Scratched testicles, and other anecdotes...
« Reply #15 on: October 06, 2004, 10:45:05 PM »
Quote

X-ray wrote:
"..Man you sure come out with some odd stories..."


That's because I'm odd  :-P


And that's because you're a radiographer. ;-)

Just like my missus and her mates - all radiographers and all odd. :-D

Incidentally, she works in a children's hospital too.

Offline the_leander

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Re: Scratched testicles, and other anecdotes...
« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2004, 04:47:11 AM »
Quote
By the way, when you said it, did you say 'Debra' or 'Deborer' ????


Debra, my accent provents me from saying it any other way (Unless I really try to hide it).

Best I can do with the latter way of saying it, with accent is  roughly like this

Deberrerr

gotta love that Westcountry twang ;-)
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Offline gizz72

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Re: Scratched testicles, and other anecdotes...
« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2004, 05:29:15 AM »
Greetings,

@Story1
:roflmao:

@Story2
:lol:

-edit-
@Story3
Have you tried running water? Although you'll need to take it off and be half naked(unless you don't have any undies..  :-D) then story1 and story2 would apply if you had an accident(joking :-D...).

I wish you got some more odd stories like that. I seem to enjoy reading that. :-D

Regards,

Gizz
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Offline PMC

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Re: Scratched testicles, and other anecdotes...
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2004, 09:26:31 AM »
One of my best buddies has worked in A&E before and has seen pretty much everything wedged into orifices.

The excuse is nearly always the same "I was doing the vacuum cleaning in the nude, when I fell over onto my backside and landed on a snooker ball/deodorant can/vegetable/etc I didn't know I had".

My favorite story is one that made the news over here:

An elderly gentleman sparked a bomb scare in an Accident and Emergency ward when he turned up complaining of an acute case of haemorroids.  Apparently, he'd found a metal object which he used to ease said swelling back into place, but unfortunately the object became lodged in-situ.  The Bomb Squad were called when it turned out the metal object was in fact a live artillery shell.
Cecilia for President
 

Offline X-rayTopic starter

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Re: Scratched testicles, and other anecdotes...
« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2004, 01:20:18 PM »
@ Wilse

It's true, all radiographers are odd. Its because of the radiation and the goings-on in the darkroom. I am subject to further oddities because of my South African sense of humour and my fondness for all things ballistic. I'll provide a few examples once I have checked that they are ...err...recountable.

@ Leander

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who would have earned the wrath of 'Deborer'  :lol:

@ PMC

That dude probably had a 30mm cannon round in situ: not a good way to make friends in the A&E department. At least with most artillery shells these days you have some protection against off-weapon detonation becasue the thing has to do a certain number of in-barrel rotations before it is armed. But a 30mm round: that's just a primer away from trouble.  :-o
Reminds me of one of the scenes from Holby City where the doctor got shot in a road rage incident and they found an 'explosive bullet' in his abdomen that could not be taken out and exposed to air. (Incidentally the BBC asked me to provide them with the appropriate X-rays after they failed to get anything convincing from any of their usual medical props sources here in the UK. They sent me the actual bullet by courier and gave me the script and the details of where they wanted the bullet to be placed and I composited it by serial analogue X-rays).
I can guarantee you that the atmosphere in that A&E with the 30mm round would be fairly similar to the contrived tension in the Holby City theatre scene.
 

Offline PMC

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Re: Scratched testicles, and other anecdotes...
« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2004, 02:29:41 PM »
Quote

X-ray wrote:

I'll provide a few examples once I have checked that they are ...err...recountable.


@X-ray

Oh, please....  I can't wait to read them!  
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Offline X-rayTopic starter

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South African Humour...
« Reply #21 on: October 07, 2004, 03:50:54 PM »
Right, I have dug up two examples of what we got up to down there...


A bored radiographer (wonder who.. :-P ) made several devices that can..uhh..explode on impact. These were originaly designed to be set off with an air-rifle but tests showed that they could be detonated with a standard 9mm pistol or thrown against a wall. Special targets for the range were made, each one having one of these impact-sensitive devices inside. Note the term 'impact sensitive' meaning that such items should not be thrown or compressed. Suffice it to say, several of us had these items as they were useful for dispersing the chav-types that were playing loud music out of their cars in the residence parking lot at all hours of the morning.
Anyway one night there we were, sitting in the casualty department with not much going on. There was one trauma surgeon, an orthopaedic surgeon, and a casualty officer. One of the guys said he was peckish and wanted a dagwood or a burger. We were all keen on that so we got into the casualty officer's car and drove around the back of the hospital to get to the highway. I was in the back with the trauma surgeon and the orthopaedic surgeon was in the front passenger seat. As we drew level with the helicopter pad the orthopaedic surgeon rolled down his window and chucked something high up into the air and then rolled it closed again. A few seconds later there was a hell of a bang right next to the car, at the back on the driver's side. The trauma surgeon almost had an instant bowel movement and the driver (who didn't know anything about these devices) was swearing and hunching his shoulders trying to correct what he thought was a blowout. Of course, I was the only one laughing, because that's how I am. The guy who threw it must have thrown it upwards and forwards, instead of vertically.
We had an agreement thereafter not to chuck them out of cars anymore...

Then there was this classic (I was not involved in any way):
There was a prefabricated building at the rear helipad where the pilots would sleep if the weather was bad or if they were on shift but it was quiet. One of the pilots had taken a casualty doctor up in the heli a few days previously and thrown the machine around the sky so that the doc was almost puking. (They were always trying to get each other, just a bunch of lads, you know.)
One night that very same pilot was peacefully sleeping in the prefab building at the back of the hospital. The victim of the flying stunt, a guy called Simon, got a heavy-duty biohazard bag (they throw amputated limbs in there before they are incinerated) and siphoned two cups of petrol out of one of the nurse's cars. He poured the petrol into the bag and then filled it up with gas from an oxyacetylene cylinder. He then shook the bag nicely, getting the petrol all over the inside of the bag, tied the neck off like a balloon and took it down to the prefab hut where the pilot was sleeping. He put it outside the door and wound a length of toilet paper all the way from the bag to around the corner, and lit it.
Now this was a bag which when inflated was about the size of a PC monitor box. I don't think the casualty doc understood how much gas is fun, and how much is daangerous, because it was too much. The bag detonated and blew out all the windows of the prefab and pushed the door off its hinges at the bottom. The explosion woke up everybody in the last block of the hospital and the police were dispatched (which is pretty impressive because in South Africa they don't come out for trivial matters). The pilot was deaf in one ear for three days and had only a ringing sensation in the other. He was not fit to fly any more of his shifts, although his constipation was cured.
The two chaps agreed to a truce soon after.
 

Offline the_leander

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Re: South African Humour...
« Reply #22 on: October 08, 2004, 02:06:06 AM »
ROTFLMAO :-D

Nicely done though :-)
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Offline Wilse

Re: Scratched testicles, and other anecdotes...
« Reply #23 on: October 08, 2004, 05:56:25 PM »
@X-Ray:

Quote
It's true, all radiographers are odd. Its because of the radiation and the goings-on in the darkroom.


:lol:
Seriously though, an example: one my g/f's mates, another radiographer, is quite possibly the best guitarist I've ever met (and I know a lot of really good guitarists, some professional) yet he is completely uninterested in playing music, which I find odd since I love playing guitar despite being hopeless at it.

Offline Karlos

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Re: South African Humour...
« Reply #24 on: October 08, 2004, 10:23:28 PM »
@X-Ray

:lol: And I thought my old dry ice bombs were bad!

We used to put a slack handful of pelletized dry ice (frozen carbon dioxide for those that don't know what it is) into 500ml - 1000ml fizzy drinks bottles and then fill them about a third full with warm water. The dry ice pellets would then vigorously begin to sublime, effervescing considerable amounts of gaseous CO2...Then you screw the top on (as fast and tight as you can) and casually put them wherever.

You usually have about 15 seconds to a minute (depending on bottle size, pressure resistance etc.) before they detonate. A good, strong bottle creates quite a concussion!

To get an idea of the pressure involved (theoretically, that is), a good handful of the stuff (wearing gloves of course!)  would be around 44g (1Mol), which can expand to 22.4 litres of gas. Inside a typically 1/3 full 500ml bottle, you could theoretically get 67 atmospheres (940psi) of pressure. I expect they bang a good time before then.

Especially good fun in a bucket of baked beans left outside someone's door ;-)
int p; // A
 

Offline X-rayTopic starter

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Re: South African Humour...
« Reply #25 on: October 09, 2004, 12:03:59 AM »
@ Jefferson MacBetamax

"...Especially good fun in a bucket of baked beans left outside someone's door..."

Remind me to never tell you my address
 :-P

I found out early on that I should stay away from delayed chemical reactions. Let me tell you what happened one fine day:

I was going through the chlorine and brake-fluid fascination that is common amongst many SA teens but I was feeling the pinch financialy and had to switch to sugar water. So I got an empty Coke can and half-filled it with granulated chlorine (for the pool) and then returned the chlorine container to its storage place. I then stirred a few tablespoons of sugar into a  glass of water and then peered into the Coke can so I could see that I wasn't going to overfill the can. I was quite relaxed as I started pouring, because I had quite a bit of time before it blew, right?

Wrong.

Like a dunce I had chosen to use a newly-finished Coke can and there was a small residual amount of Coke left in the bottom. The chlorine was bubbling at the bottom and the mix was already hot. When I poured the water in, it reacted immediately. A purple pillar of fire shot out into my face and although I managed to jump back I was not fast enough to save my fringe or my eyebrows. They were burned almost completely away. I spent the next few weeks looking like an extra from Babylon 5.
 

Offline odin

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Re: South African Humour...
« Reply #26 on: October 09, 2004, 01:04:57 AM »
:lol: While on the topic of silly actions done in the paste...:

When I was 10 or so I decided to collect all the leftover candles we had lying around the house. You know, the pile of little stubs after christmas. I put them all in an empty tin can and started heating it with a gasburner (like you use to put tar (?) on the roof of a house (as in waterproofing it). Anyhow it all started to melt and I let a piece of rope dangle in it and let the molten wax coagulate (?).

So there I was, being proud of my own created candle. Naturally I lit it and it burned very nicely. It was blowing quite hard outside (autumn storm) and I went outside from the garage where I was busy to the house to do something inside. I figured it would blow out if I placed the tin can on the table outside to I place it in a small recessed gutter near the wall, nicely out of the wind. So far so good, however the further the fuse burnt the closer it came to the tangled mess of old fuses from the stubs. Ofcourse these started burning too and after a while it must've become quite a little pyre. Not really much a problem is it, most houses in NL being stone and all. My parents house however is imported from Sweden and all wood. Naturally wood can't take heat to well and the house decided to burn too, luckily mum had to go out for some reason and discovered the little arson before things got out of hand.

To this date there's a plank near the kitchen door which is missing a neat round bit at the bottom near the recessed gutter ;-).

Offline the_leander

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Re: South African Humour...
« Reply #27 on: October 09, 2004, 08:11:33 AM »
ROTFLMAO
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Offline X-rayTopic starter

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Bad takeaway
« Reply #28 on: January 25, 2005, 10:52:16 PM »
I was up in the operating theatre with my X-ray screening machine the other day. It was an orthopaedic operation where they repair the cruciate ligaments in the knee by means of a sterile cadaver's achilles tendon shipped from the US. I had been feeling unsettled the whole morning because of a dodgy take-away the night before, but I wasn't nauseous, just had a bad rumble in my gut. Now I got there at the initial stages of the operation and I X-rayed the knee so that they could get the anchor points for this 'remanufactured' ligament. This took about 40 minutes. Okay, so they had the anchor points and then they had to measure that achilles tendon and 'make' new cruciate ligaments. There was some bickering amongst the surgeons about the proper length of this new ligament and it turned out that I waited there for another 30 minutes, not doing anything. And my guts were getting that Mount Vesuvius feeling and I was starting to get fidgety. Now this is where it gets interesting. One of the surgeons said that they were halfway done 'making' the ligament. I reckoned I had another 30 minutes of just standing there with a lead apron on while they finished the 'make.' So I decided to slip out quietly and use the male restroom toilet while I had a chance. I whispered to the anaesthetist that I would be back, took off the apron, and ducked out of the theatre. I hurried down the corridor to the restroom.
Okay...so there I was in one of the two cubicles, door shut and cringing because I knew there was going to be a fierce eruption from down below. I won't describe that eruption but I'll tell you that it was momentous indeed, both in terms of audio effects and the terrible odour. There had been nobody else in the restroom when I entered, so I was grateful to be alone. I was really bi*ching out loud to myself, saying things like "Oh Jeez, f*ck this" and "Whew, I'm baaaad, a dirty baaaad arse" and generally muttering in utter amazement that I was the source of this event that would surely have been outlawed by the Geneva Conventions. It was simply the worst crap I've ever had and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
When I was done, I had to flush twice, saying "Thank f*ck for that" and really going on to myself about how much of a terrible event this had been.
Can you imagine my utter embarrassment when I opened the door to find one of the surgeons' assistants waiting patiently there so he could tell me they were ready for another X-ray, earlier than scheduled!!! He had followed me right from the beginning, and I had not noticed or heard him behind me because of our rubber theatre shoes and my tunnel-vision as I hastened to the commode.
When I stepped out of the cubicle, there was a terrible waft in this assistant's direction and I had to endure the further embarrassment of washing my hands with surgical scrub with him looking on all the while.

Ever since, my motto has been 'We are not alone'
 

Offline Karlos

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Re: Bad takeaway
« Reply #29 from previous page: January 25, 2005, 11:37:51 PM »
:roflmao:

"Feck! Ma arse is despicable! Ah, lavatory... Who's y' daddy!"

The assistant must have been dying to laugh :-D
int p; // A