Confidence....

[PMC]

Damn...

Finally got the courage to ask a young lady out (after months of conversation and procrastination on my part) for a drink and worryingly enough she's accepted!

Now I'm faced with the sudden desertion of self confidence and the prospect of turning into a gibbering idiot...  I thought I outgrew this kind of crap when I left school.

Help!

[Karlos]

Most obvious first rule: be yourself. She's already agreed to go out with you so that's an indication she's happy enough to spend some time with you.

Remember that you don't need to impress with every word and just relax.

Easier said than done, I guess ;-)

Good luck.

[smithy]

You've already done the hard bit, and she must fancy you cos she said yes!

Have a careful think about where and when you're taking her.  The aim of a first date is to have a good chat.  So a bar on a Thursday-Sunday evening is a bad idea, you'll not get moved and you'll have to shout in each others' ears!  A nice moody bar with soft lighting on Monday-Wednesday evenings is a good plan because it'll be quiet and relaxing.

Apart from that just ask lots of questions, and try to ask fruther questions based on her answers because it sounds like you've been listening.

Good luck!

[PMC]

Well I'm no stranger to dating...  So most of the common sense advice above is pretty much as I'd expected.

However, it's nerves that get me.  If it's someone I like then sitting there playing it cool isn't an option then my nerves get shot to peices and I sit and babble.  

Last time I went on a date with someone I really liked I scared the crap out of myself on a mountain bike for a couple of hours beforehand, just to work on the fear factor.  However, if it's someone I don't know or they're obviously interested in me I can sit there, cool as a cucumber and seem to find the right things to say.

Does anyone else experience this phenomena?

[blobrana]

Hum,
i suspect that you are the only one in the history of mankind that has experienced that phenomena...

i also suspect that she's agreed to go out with you so she can have a laugh - er, well you know what i mean...


Nothing worse than stony silence...(except a paper cut)






Have a nice time...

[Karlos]

@Blob

Way to encouage :lol:

[whabang]

@Blob
You are truly evil! :lol:
(I like that, what are you doing on friday evening? ;-))

[PMC]

blobrana wrote:
Hum,
i suspect that you are the only one in the history of mankind that has experienced that phenomena...

Have a nice time...

Well, at least I'll have something unique to talk about.... ;-)

[KennyR]

Don't worry about being a gibbering idiot. Women like those.

[Cyberus]

:lol: guys (and girl)

@ Kenny
So there's yet hope for Iamaboringperson then?

The only bit of advice I would give, is to try not talk about yourself too much :-)

[cecilia]

PMC wrote:
Last time I went on a date with someone I really liked I scared the crap out of myself on a mountain bike for a couple of hours beforehand, just to work on the fear factor.

oh, way to get yourself a heart attack! :crazy:

well, here's a stupid thought: do the poor girl a big favor and tell her you are in the middle of a panic attack.  this way she won't think it's her. at least SHE can relax!

and, some advice for you: stop beating yourself up! it's ok to be nervous. use it! some people get funny and put on a great performance! girls love to be entertained. trust me! :lol:

[PMC]

It's not so much advice I need....

I suppose I'm struck by the irony that confidence is something that deserts us when we rely on it most and this post is more about this annoying observation.

Secondly, I'm interested to know how everyone else deals with nerves in general.  I had to deliver a best man's speech on Saturday that went down a storm, but I'd had a few glasses of wine beforehand to settle my nerves down.

Obviously alcohol is taboo because a) I'm driving, b) said lady is teetotal.

And I suppose I was hoping to settle my nerves by hearing everybody else's bad date stories.....

[bloodline]

blobrana wrote:
Hum,
i suspect that you are the only one in the history of mankind that has experienced that phenomena...

i also suspect that she's agreed to go out with you so she can have a laugh - er, well you know what i mean...


Nothing worse than stony silence...(except a paper cut)

:roflmao:

remember, Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as (parklife).. ;-)

[bloodline]

PMC wrote:
It's not so much advice I need....

I suppose I'm struck by the irony that confidence is something that deserts us when we rely on it most and this post is more about this annoying observation.

Secondly, I'm interested to know how everyone else deals with nerves in general.  I had to deliver a best man's speech on Saturday that went down a storm, but I'd had a few glasses of wine beforehand to settle my nerves down.

Obviously alcohol is taboo because a) I'm driving, b) said lady is teetotal.

And I suppose I was hoping to settle my nerves by hearing everybody else's bad date stories.....

Everyone feels the same... she'll be feeling it too... spike her drink with some vodka* as she's a teetotal, she'll be dunk after a single drink. Then you can relax in the knowledge that she will be far less inhibited than you and probably won't remember much of your stupid mistakes and comments.



*I do not condone spiking anyone's drink with vodka in an effort make them more suggestable or for any other reason.

[PMC]

bloodline wrote:

Everyone feels the same... she'll be feeling it too... spike her drink with some vodka* as she's a teetotal, she'll be dunk after a single drink. Then you can relax in the knowledge that she will be far less inhibited than you and probably won't remember much of your stupid mistakes and comments

*I do not condone spiking anyone's drink with vodka in an effort make them more suggestable or for any other reason.

At this rate I'll be spiking my own drink!