Who's up for some 'politically incorrect' jokes? :-p

[T_Bone]

A Yankee's Translation of the Southern's Vocabulary
We provide this translation of the Southern's vocabulary in an attempt to teach them Yankees how to talk rightly.

Ah - The things you see with.

Aig - Which came first, the chicken or the aig?

Arn - An electrical instrument used to remove wrinkles from clothing.

Ay-rab - The people who inhabit much of North Africa.

Bawl - What water does.

Bidness - The art of selling something for more than you paid for it.

Bobbycue - A delectable Southern sandwich of chopped pork, cole slaw, and a fiery sauce.

Bud - Small feathered creature that flies.

Cheer - A piece of furniture used for sitting.

Chekatawfarya - Heard at service stations in small Southern towns.

Co-Cola - Soft drink.

Crine - Weeping.

Dawfins - Name of the professional football team in Miami.

Daints - A more or less formal event in which members of the opposite sex hold each other and move rhythmically to the south of music.

Doc - A condition caused by the absence of light.

Etlanna - The city General Sherman burned during the war for Southern independence.

Everthang - All-encompassing.

Far - A state of combustion that produces heat and light.

Foller - Spies and private detectives spend a lot of time doing this.

Git - To acquire.

Goff- A game played with clubs and a little white ball.

Gull - A young female.

Hale - Where General Sherman went for what he did to Etlanna.

Heidi - noun. Greeting

Hep - To aid or benefit.

Hire Yew

Idinit - "Mighty hot today, idinit?"

Keer - To be concerned.

Lieberry - A building containing thousands of literary works.

Moanin - Between daybreak and noon.

Motuhsickle - A two-wheeled missile with a powerful engine.

Munts - The 12 units into which the calendar year is divided.

Nawth - Any part of the country outside of the South.

Nekkid - To be unclothed.

Ovair - In that direction.

Own - Instead of awf.

Phrasin - Very cold.

Pitcher - An image, either drawn or photographed.

Sebmup - Soft drink similar to ginger ale.

Show - "It show is hot today."

Spearmint - Something scientist do.

Stow - Place where things are sold.

Tal - What you dry off with after you take a share.

Tar - Round inflatable object that sometimes goes flat.

Uhmukin - Someone who lives in the United States of Uhmurka.

Zackly - Precisely

---

I'll add one of my own, can't believe they left it out!

All - Drilled from the ground, used to lubricate motors.

[T_Bone]

Taxidermist

This guy walks into a bar down in Georgia and orders a Grape Nehi. Surprised, the bartender looks around and says, "You ain't from around here. Where you from, boy?"

The guy says, "I'm from Pennsylvania."

The bartender asks, "What do you do up in Pennsylvania?"

The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... what the hell is a taxidermist?"

The guy says, "I mount dead animals."

The bartender smiles and shouts to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"

:lol:

[T_Bone]

Doobrey wrote:
Q. What`s blue and turns red at the touch of a button ?
A. A MorphOS troll in a blender.

Q. What`s red and turns green at the touch of a button?
A. An OS4 troll being shown MorphOS.

 :-)

[T_Bone]

graffias79 wrote:

T-Bone wrote:
Q: How can you tell if you are in a gay amusement park?
A: They issue gerbils at the tunnel of love.

That whole gerbil thing is sooo not even real.  I've been to a  couple "parties" and I chat with a lot of other gay men out there and so far the only people that I have EVER heard even mention girbils are straight men trying to be funny.

-Jamie

Did I write that?  :-? I think I posted pretty much just redneck jokes, if that slipped in it must have been a cut&paste snafu!

[T_Bone]

cecilia wrote:
a friend just emailed me this:

How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a light bulb?

The Answer is SEVEN:

(1) One to deny that a light bulb needs to be replaced,

(2) One to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the light bulb,

(3) One to blame the previous administration for the need of a new light bulb,

(4) One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs,

(5) One to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay Halliburton Industries a half million dollars for a light bulb,

(6) One to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the light bulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag,

(7) and finally one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing in a light bulb and screwing the country.

You forgot to mention Bush trying to explain how his little 45 watter is as bright as the 300 watt halogen Reagan had.

Somewhere there's an Enron tie in, but I can't be bothered to work it in!
 :lol:

[T_Bone]

iamaboringperson wrote:
"In a recent interview Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

That whole post ruled!

[T_Bone]

cecilia wrote:
TRIBUTE TO RONALD REAGAN
 :lol:

 :-x   :-)