WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKEEEEEND!

[motorollin]

There is no excuse for what your wife did. Especially when there is a child involved. If you are strong enough to confront your wife then ask her why she did what she did. If you ever want to forgive her you have to talk to her about it first.

Good luck, and I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

--
moto

[motorollin]

I don't know what to say. I have no idea how you must be feeling right now. I only hope you have the strength to realise that this is not your failing - it's hers. Especially if she doesn't even have a good reason. Have you though as far ahead as what you will do next?

--
moto

[motorollin]

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here, but why is it you that has to make an effort to keep in touch with your daughter so she doesn't grow up not having a father? It was your wife who was unfaithful after all. IMO your wife should be the one fighting to keep in touch with your daughter, not you!!!!!

[EDIT]
Just to clarify, I'm not saying your daughter should stay with your wife and you shouldn't feel compelled to stay in touch. I'm saying you shouldn't assume your daughter would stay with your wife and you would have to struggle to maintain contact.
[/EDIT]

--
moto

[motorollin]

therail wrote:
"mothers" are always favoured in custody battles

Even if they were the ones who were irresponsible enough to break up the family by being unfaithful? That's disgusting.

--
moto

[motorollin]

whabang wrote:
In Sweden, the parent's usually share custody after a divorce; and it's becoming more and more common that the parent's take turns (one week each) when taking care of the child.

I'm not sure how healthy that weekly upheaval is for the child. Children need stability - especially after something as traumatic as the break-up of their family.

whabang wrote:
I'm not afraid that she will get sole custody, but I do know for a fact, that if I don't make an effort to be a part of her life, then she'll slowly fade out of my life, just as my brothers, my sister, and my father did when my parents broke up.

That's is very sad. It's good that you can recognise what has happened and make sure you don't make the same mistake with your daughter.

whabang wrote:
The next few days I'll have to get myself a new apartment. I'm the one with the higher income, and as this apartment is cheaper than most apartments half it's size, it's no more than right that she can keep it (don't want Elin to be homeless every second week). Once that's done, I guess it's time for the painful part: Going through everything, deciding what goes to whom.

At least you're level-headed enough to be practical. I'm not sure most would be handling this as well!

whabang wrote:
I guess the vacation we planned in two weeks isn't going to be the relaxed getaway that we had planned. :-(

Take a friend and go without her :-) Maybe the time away from the situation will give you time to think it over.

--
moto

[motorollin]

I have to admire your ability to see through the pain of what has happened and still find it in your heart to tell your wife you love her. I genuinely hope that you can find a way to trust your wife again and forgive her, as this is the only way you will be able to be together. If there is any doubt in your mind, it will eat away at you. And if I may say, I strongly believe that the only way you can attempt to trust and forgive her is if she can explain why she did what she did.

--
moto