Quick piece of constructive criticism,....
When writing fiction, make it interesting.
Seems a common mistake to focus on the writing and style and to put the story last.
Writers often get so hung up on the former they forget that it's not just them that are reading it. Boring is boring, regardless of how well written it might be.
I read a lot and I can tell you now that there's very few books that hold a persons interest for more than a page or two based on technical aspects.
