Hnnnngh! - title edited to fit in Bloodline's ickle screen ;)

[the_leander]

/rant mode set to kill

Ya know, I'm a fairly easy guy most of the time, indeed I've been called a pushover more then once. But even I have limits.

I haven't so much reached mine, as gone through it whilst on fire.

Past few weeks I've visited my son, Tomas over the weekends, and have been told by him repeatedly, I'm not his dad/he's not my son, now he's 4, and at the time I figured it was because I was telling him off at the time, then last weekend my ex and her bf popped by so I could give her money, whilst they were there I walked up to the bf's car to hear my own son tell this guy "he's not my real daddy".

I've tried for a week to hold the lid on this one and truthfully I thought I'd swallowed this one down, but seeing them again today just brought it to the fore.

Some poor sod on here just caught some flack from me on another thread, but truthfully this is ripping me apart.

I don't know what to do, I've spoken to the ex about this but she either doesn't get it or more likely just doesn't give a crap, so again, what should I do?

[the_leander]

Son appears to be being taught that I am not his father and this new boyfriend of my ex is.

Hearing my Son tell this guy that I'm not his real dad, and calling him dad is tearing me apart.

Don't know what to do about it.

[the_leander]

Problem is I'm not sure how many times I can continue to hear him call this guy daddy in front of me, indeed, when we're both in the same room (ignoring the serious awkwardness issues that abound) and he's told to go to ask daddy something, he goes to this other guy.

I've tried correcting him (something his mother refuses to do) but to no avail.

I honestly don't know how much more I can take before I crack on this.

[the_leander]

Oliver wrote:

the_leander wrote:
I've tried correcting him (something his mother refuses to do) but to no avail.

I think on a psychological basis, with this situation, your corrections of the facts will not hold in your son's mind, if this is allowed to continue. I'm certainly no expert in this field though.

Maybe when you are alone with your son, you can ask him if someone/who told him these things? Is he old enough to answer a question like that?

Certainly he would answer, the problem is that I'm unsure if he would answer honestly or do his best to guess what I want to hear... He's at that age...

Oliver wrote:

I honestly don't know how much more I can take before I crack on this.

In terms of retaliation, I would be very cautious about doing anything which could alienate you from your son.

I wasn't thinking in terms of retaliation, but rather that I would have to withdraw from the situation before I break down.

Oliver wrote:
Do you know anyone who could give you some really well informed advice on this? Is there anyone on the forum with expertise in this sort of matter? I think this forum tends to be a bit more in the technical or creative slants.

I hope it works out for you. I can't really imagine what that would be like, though the heart goes out.

Metalman's amazon links look interesting and I'll see if I can get them from the library. As far as someone specific, not sure, possibly not. But I've found in the past when I've asked that even if I didn't get the answer here, I was at least pointed in the right direction.

[the_leander]

Done  :lol:

[the_leander]

*facepalms*

 :-P  :lol: