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Offline PMCTopic starter

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Confidence....
« on: July 28, 2004, 10:12:43 AM »
Damn...

Finally got the courage to ask a young lady out (after months of conversation and procrastination on my part) for a drink and worryingly enough she's accepted!

Now I'm faced with the sudden desertion of self confidence and the prospect of turning into a gibbering idiot...  I thought I outgrew this kind of crap when I left school.

Help!


Cecilia for President
 

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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2004, 02:22:25 PM »
Well I'm no stranger to dating...  So most of the common sense advice above is pretty much as I'd expected.

However, it's nerves that get me.  If it's someone I like then sitting there playing it cool isn't an option then my nerves get shot to peices and I sit and babble.  

Last time I went on a date with someone I really liked I scared the crap out of myself on a mountain bike for a couple of hours beforehand, just to work on the fear factor.  However, if it's someone I don't know or they're obviously interested in me I can sit there, cool as a cucumber and seem to find the right things to say.

Does anyone else experience this phenomena?

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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2004, 03:03:27 PM »
Quote

blobrana wrote:
Hum,
i suspect that you are the only one in the history of mankind that has experienced that phenomena...

Have a nice time...


Well, at least I'll have something unique to talk about.... ;-)
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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2004, 04:16:40 PM »
It's not so much advice I need....

I suppose I'm struck by the irony that confidence is something that deserts us when we rely on it most and this post is more about this annoying observation.

Secondly, I'm interested to know how everyone else deals with nerves in general.  I had to deliver a best man's speech on Saturday that went down a storm, but I'd had a few glasses of wine beforehand to settle my nerves down.

Obviously alcohol is taboo because a) I'm driving, b) said lady is teetotal.

And I suppose I was hoping to settle my nerves by hearing everybody else's bad date stories.....
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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2004, 07:23:49 PM »
Quote

bloodline wrote:

Everyone feels the same... she'll be feeling it too... spike her drink with some vodka* as she's a teetotal, she'll be dunk after a single drink. Then you can relax in the knowledge that she will be far less inhibited than you and probably won't remember much of your stupid mistakes and comments

*I do not condone spiking anyone's drink with vodka in an effort make them more suggestable or for any other reason.


At this rate I'll be spiking my own drink!
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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2004, 08:59:04 AM »
Cheers chaps and chapesses,

You've all put a smile on my face!

@IAMA

No offence dude, but your tender romantic side doesn't shine through in these hallowed forums.  Is there a side to you we haven't yet seen?

:lol:

@Blob

Chewy chocolate is always a winner in MY book too.  Problem is I won't want to share it!

No I can go forth with a smile on my face (and chocolate in my pocket, but we'll keep quiet about that one).
Cecilia for President
 

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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #6 on: July 29, 2004, 09:44:21 AM »
Quote

iamaboringperson wrote:

Impress her with your knowledge of .... fine wine, and ... exotic food! :-o


I know a great Balti house... They even serve Kingfisher lager! (just kidding).

It's all common sense advice which I've handed out to mates in the past.  Like I've said, it's more about the way confidence deserts you when you need it most - like the fickle friend that it is.

Maybe we should start a new post called "First date disasters"?

How about this one....:

A couple of months back I swapped numbers with a lass who seemed sweet and harmless enough.  

The next day my phone rang about three times, it was said lass calling me for "a chat".  No problem, but I was working at the time and tried to tactfully suggest she waits until after 5:30pm.

Minutes later a text arrives.  "What have I done wrong?"

Oh hell...  I text back to apologise for being abrupt but I was working and had a deadline to meet.

Later that evening I'm making arrangements to meet, when a text arrives "are you going to stay over tonight?".

Whoa!!!  Let's just concentrate on the first date shall we?  I gave her the benefit of the doubt and met up later that day.  There was no "spark" there, so after a couple of hours I thanked her for a most charming evening and left, despite her asking me once again if I was going to stay the night.

Next thing I get a text from her berating me for not giving enough "attention"....
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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2004, 09:59:29 AM »
@T_Bone

Do you speak from experience?
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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #8 on: July 29, 2004, 03:42:42 PM »
Quote

cecilia wrote:

"Is that a chocolate in your pocket?
.....or are you happy to see me!"

 :banana:


I'm happy to see you! (it also means keeping one's chocolate to oneself).
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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #9 on: July 29, 2004, 04:16:46 PM »
Quote

cecilia wrote:
I sure that's a BIG "chocolate"!!!!:roflmao:


Yep, it's a foot long slightly triangular shaped and lumpy...  Do you think she'll notice my Toblerone bar I've got stashed away?
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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2004, 09:30:42 AM »
Quote

Robert17 wrote:
Hehe you live in essex yet you had to ask her? :-p

Robert


She's from Suffolk, which requires a slightly more delicate approach

:lol:
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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2004, 09:31:45 AM »
Quote

cecilia wrote:

lucky girl! :lol:


Not really, I'm keeping my chocolate to myself!
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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2004, 11:47:17 AM »
Ewww!

Cecilia for President
 

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Re: Confidence....
« Reply #13 on: July 30, 2004, 12:04:17 PM »
@Cyberus

This'll make you laugh.

She postponed because she'd put her back out...  Just as I managed to do yesterday too...  We're both hobbling around with sore backs and nothing to show for it.

Can it possibly get any more comical?
Cecilia for President