Men's toilets, Secretaries, that sort of thing.

[Karlos]

mikeymike wrote:

Wash regularly. And thoroughly. That way nothing sticks and sends liquids off at bad trajectories.

I wish you had PM'd that, makes me look like a skanky... :-)

Hmm, that would explain why it happens first thing in the morning.

If you can think of any other excuses as good or better than this one, pmail them to me ;-)

:roflmao:

Where else could you read a quality remark like that from a moderator?

God, I forgot how funny this thread was!

-edit-

I just finished reading it again. It's been long enough for me to forget most of it. Did we really come out with all that? :lol:

When it comes to the gender gap surrounding toilets, where would this person fit in?

[the_leander]

Wain wrote:
In the interest of being on-topic (see...the thread never died, we're just a little behind on the boards lately!!)

I would like to point out that while men's public restrooms tend to smell, women's public urinals tend to be extremely messy...usually with large amounts of paper (toilet and otherwise, with and without blood on it) on floors, and massive amounts of water everywhere.  The truth is women's public restrooms are just as nasty as mens, it's just that men's are more directly offensive to ppl that aren't a part of the cleaning staff.

*This message was brought to you by my ex who worked on a cleaning staff for many years*

Having also worked as a cleaner, I have to concur with this.

 :nervous:  :eek:

[Speelgoedmannetje]

Yeeeeeehaw! :banana:
now where were we?
Punkie was doing things with supposedly Cecilia in a toilet or he came out of the closet with a new American g/f or something like that wasn't it?

[whabang]

OMFG! It's ALIIIIVEE! :lol:

[Karlos]

AmiGR wrote:

mikeymike wrote:
Got a solution for the "random direction" problem? :-)

Yep. Just retract it fully before you piss. That makes sure that the head is aligned to the part you're holding. :-)

This doesn't solve "the twister" where for no apparent reason your jet twists into a sort of helical flow that's usually very close to splitting into two completely seperate streams. Often with messy consequences as you can only realistically aim one of them....

[X-ray]

As regards the problem of the errant drops of urine upon reholstering the member, they have developed a cure for this in South Africa. A friend of mine had this problem, that he could shake it as much as he liked, but as soon as he put it away and zipped up his trousers, he would feel the drops of urine come out in his pants.
So he went to the urologist and paid the guy about 200 bucks to have a single nose-hair implanted in his urethra, about halfway up. My buddy didn't think this would work, but it does!
Apparently, as those drops are about to come out, he hears an audible "sniff" and the drops go back into his bladder instead.

[whabang]

Haha! That sounds like a cool sollution. But why a nose hair?

[PMC]

Proof that the best old threads never die, they just get more entertaining with age...

 :lol:

[Karlos]

whabang wrote:
Haha! That sounds like a cool sollution. But why a nose hair?

I think it was a joke ;-)

[X-ray]

Ja, and I have to confess that the medical story I told you about hair and nipples and new fathers was also a load of bilge. I just can't help myself sometimes  :-P

[odin]

:bump:

They don't make them threads like they used to, yessirreebob.

[Speelgoedmannetje]

:banana:

[persia]

[da9000]

Since this thread just won't die...

The below, one of the funniest moments in the thread reminded me of something.

KennyR wrote:
At 5am, best I can recommend is a two fisted manual realignment. It's not easy, though. It's like pushing a B52 into a dive.

That I'm the long standing inventor (or has everything related to human body parts been tried before?!) of the following "advanced maneuver", and I might as well open source it (poetically):

It rhymes a little with "if you can't beat'em, then join'em", and it goes like this:

"If you can't turn the canon, turn the ship!" :-)

For the imagination deficient, or the mechanical engineers and other analytical types: put one hand on the canon, and the other in a "Hi Hitler" stance, and lean 'til you make contact with the wall. You just gained a good 35-45 degrees declination. You might just make it into the bowl now! ( Fine text: make sure floor is not already wet, you might just end up with your head in the bowl instead!!! :-D )

[bloodline]

The inevitable soultion is to just stand in the shower... Relax... Ablute... Return to bed.

[motorollin]

da9000 wrote:
For the imagination deficient, or the mechanical engineers and other analytical types: put one hand on the canon, and the other in a "Hi Hitler" stance, and lean 'til you make contact with the wall. You just gained a good 35-45 degrees declination. You might just make it into the bowl now! ( Fine text: make sure floor is not already wet, you might just end up with your head in the bowl instead!!! :-D )

I do this too :lol: There's nothing worse than your knob touching the inside of the bowl

--
moto