I guess I was kinda the same as you, x56h34 :-)
But nowadays, Hardcore has been copied over and over and over again with mindnumbing cliche's. I quitted it at the age of 16 or 17 when I had to reckognise that the music was hijacked by neo-nazi's and chavs of the worst kind, and there won't be any good (inspirating, experimental) hardcore anymore. I've heard it all, twas good music to survive puberty, but that's it. Got other music nowadays.