I think everyone has become confused over the years.
I just looked at my Flyer and there is just ONE connector on the Flyer that would go to the Toaster.
See how the BNC connectors on the back of your Toaster 4000 are removable on a little separate board?
You need the version of that BNC board that has a cable permanently attached that goes to the rearmost connector on the Flyer.
The crazy twisted cable was for Toaster 2000's (the original) that weren't made with a removable BNC card. Since it was sort of hacked on, the cable for that model was pretty gnarly.
About half way down this page are pics of before and after the replacement BNC card:
http://www.rcgrabbag.com/archives/amiga-a4000tI can get you that little card/cable combo no problem, just PM me your shipping address and I'll send one to you.