Kick Me! notes and other practical jokes

[Karlos]

@Kenny

Is there any secondary school / sixth form chemistry lab more than a few years old without such a scar? Alkali metal / water abuse is mandatory.

Our old A level teacher had a method of getting everybody's attention. He'd fill a plastic bottle (over a beehive shelf) with 7 parts oxygen and 1 part acetylene. Hed then don his earmuffs and goggles, put it atop a tripod and shove a prelit bunsen underneath.

You'd see where the dust had previously settled in any quantity whenever he did this as it fell from the blackboard, tops of cupboards etc., dislodged by the deafening bang :-)

[Cyberus]

Heh, good stories guys.

They remind me of a chemistry lab practical joke I used to play when I was at school. In the lab, there were three benches. On each bench, there were three sinks. (The lab is where we had normal blackboard and chalk lessons, as well as doing experiments.)
Now, this doesn't involve any chemistry as such, but is funny nonetheless...

At the end of each bench, there was a tap which would turn off the water supply to all three sinks on the bench. If you were the first one into the class, you'd go and make sure all the 'mains' taps at the end of each bench were OFF, and then go and turn the sink taps ON. Now, people would drift in before the lesson, and sit or lean on the benches chatting with their mates before the teacher came into the class. All you had to do, is wait for someone to get near one of the sinks, and then discreetly turn on the appropriate 'mains' tap to administer a soaking :-D

This could also be done during the lesson as well, depending on how tolerant the teacher was.

[GadgetMaster]

Not really a practical joke but something I just remebered from my high school days. Our metalwork teacher used to have one glass eye. He also had one hell of a temper. There was a rumour going around that if he got angry enough he would pull out his glass eye and hurl it across the room at you. I always tried to stay in his good books but others tried to anger him on purpose to see if the rumour was true. They instead ended up getting a good shouting at and detention.

It would have been fun to see if it had been true. :crazy:  :lol:

[PMC]

Some amusing one's courtesy of my father, who worked in glass blowing labs (building vacuum valves for early computers) before graduating to drawing offices in both the aircraft and oil industry.

1) Every Friday afternoon, the glassblowers used to spend their lunch hours making syringes, before going on an Unreal Tournament style frag-fest around the store-room soaking one another.  Anyway, one chap is surrounded so he darts behind a shelf and squats down to avoid the watery onslaught, right onto a large bucket full of freshly blown vaccum valve cases.  Because the sharp points at either end of the valves had yet to be nipped off, the needles of glass embedded themselves in his behind, thus requiring hospital attention.

2) After taking a job with Handley Page, father is working his first day and decided he needs the bathroom.  He asks the manager where the gents is, and he replies in a strait-laced manner.  My dad made his way to the lavatory, sits down and starts to think "Strange, this place looks like it hasn't been used in yea........." just as a Victor bomber starts engine (x4) trials on the other side of the lavatory wall.  Four Rolls Royce Conway engines make for a magnificent laxative so I'm told.

3) One of the co-workers in a drawing office had a reputation for spectacular flatulence and is able to perform vividly on command.  His ego is dented when a rival appears with equally impressive sphinctoral abilities.  War is quickly declared, with a contest to be held at noon on the next Friday.  Both parties go into intensive training, one of which spent the week eating raw onions and chilli peppers.  Friday noon dawns and the protaganists face each other.  The winner of the toss goes first, grasps a drawing board, and with his face turned red through straining immediately craps himself.  

4) The most evil act of all concerned an unfortunate chap with chronic piles.  Every lunchtime he used to make for the gents carrying a tube of Preparation H.  However one assailant squeezed all the contents out of the tube before refilling it with Sloans Heat Rub.  The resulting screams were heard throughout the entire building.