Well, I can't believe what just happened...
I went to the supermarket to get a few things for lunch and a DVD and a newspaper. While I was standing in the queue, basket in hand, I noticed that a VERY robustly-built woman in front of me had a whole trolley-load of meat and tinned goods piled up high. I wasn't too bothered about having to wait for all this to go through, and I just passed the time by reading the back of the DVD.
That's when I noticed I'd got the widescreen version and I didn't want that, I wanted the other one. So I put my basket down at the end of the till, asked the chap behind me to keep my place and went looking for the other DVD. It took a few minutes, but I found what I wanted and made my way back to the till.
When I got there, the young spotty-faced dude there was already putting my stuff through the scanner. I thought that was a bit bold of him, but I didn't say anything because maybe the guy who was keeping my place told the guy to proceed.
Anyway, the guy scans the DVD (last item) and brings up the total...£213 !!!!! :-o
I said, 'My good man, you've got a bug in the system here because these few items aren't £213'
And he says 'There was a lot of meat, sir,' and starts to rip this long till receipt out to show me all these items I haven't even bought.
He says 'It's the meat, sir, your wife has already packed it and taken it in the trolley. She said you would pay for this.'
That woman had told this fool that I was her husband! Well she was nowhere in sight, and I wasn't going to get stuck with a £213 bill. I was actually more annoyed that she had pulled a stunt like this, so I left my stuff there and ran out to the front of the store to see if I could find her.
Across the parking lot, I saw her loading the last bag of groceries into the back of her car. I shouted 'Hey!!' and when she saw me she quickly slammed the hatchback closed and moved suprisingly rapidly to the driver's door and started getting in. I'm telling you this woman was big, people, but she moved when she wanted to and she definitely was trying to get away.
I ran like anything and I managed to get to the car door just as she slammed it shut, but she couldn't lock it because I was holding the handle up just in time. I was furious, didn't even know what to say, and she was glaring at me through the glass. There was a bit of a tug-of-war and I finally managed to force the door open, and what does she do...she gets a leg out and tries to kick me!!
I sort of fell a bit becuase I was avoiding this assualt, and I ended up kind of crouched next to the open door while this meaty leg was trying to connect me. I was swearing by now, you can imagine.
Well, I thought there's nothing for it, but to try to stop this and get her out the car, so the next time she made a kick at me I grabbed her leg and pulled it hard, just like I'm pulling yours...
