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Author Topic: The current situation, conspiracy theories please  (Read 5765 times)

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Offline Targhan

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Re: The current situation, conspiracy theories please
« on: March 17, 2004, 03:46:10 AM »
As a former assistant webmaster of Amiga.org, I feel it is my solemn duty to the community to blow the whistle on this entire fraudulent misuse of the internet.

During the early nineties, when the internet was still young with the strings being pulled by Al Gore, a secret committee was formed to ensure that the AmigaOS and it's highly religeous followers would remain in check.  This whole operation was done, in part, to protect the jobs of 85% of the I.T. industry dependant on the bugs found in Microsoft products.

This terrible secret was unfortunately kept hidden from Gateway, but known by the executives of VisCorp.  A collection of websites were created to control the masses, while the government placed figureheads in various CEO positions, and moles within the community to control the ebb and flow of information.  The leaders of the sites, Amiga.org, ANN.lu, and Amiga-News.de were chosen by a panel made up of experts in mass control, the music industry.  Once in place, a small circle of perimiter websites were funded to help fuel the fire, such as AmigaCentral.com, and the Amiga Web Directory.  These were designed as stepping stone sites to further corral the user-base into a smaller corner of the internet.

Bill Buck, knowing of the conspiracy, pulled the plug on the Viscorp deal, and hinted to Petro that Gateway would be a good candidate.  Gateway stepped in, and became a victim of the conspiracy.  Luckily for us, it actually saved the Government from having to create a second conspiracy to deal with *them*.  By the time Gateway discovered, through a still secret witness, provided by the NCAA (how they became involved is still a mystery, but we of the webmasters destruction committee believe it has something to do with the University of Tennessee and some rogue booster).  In the end, Gateway pulled out, selling Amiga to the perfect scapegoat, Amino.

Due to the difficulties of conspiracy withdrawal syndrome, Bill Buck applied to the US Government for a new contract to finish off the Amiga Community.  At first the WDC (Webmasters Destruction Committee) revelled in this renewal of the age-old contract that ensured that the I.T. industry would survive.  It wasn't long though, before Amiga Inc felt that they needed to up the stakes, by applying for more funds to help fight off the threat of no threat.  While the paperwork took a while to fill out (The Belgium government is always so slow, since their lawyers double as clerks), the end loomed ever nearer.

In the end, Amiga Inc, through their newly founded government contract through KMOS will allow the war to continue.  The WDC can finally get back to what we do best, keeping you fighting amongst yourselves, ensuring the survival of the IT industry.

This has been cleverly hidden conspiracy used for years to keep you, the Amiga community, entertained and out of the mainstream where a stable OS that was built with common sense might just destroy an entire industry, upsetting the world economy.


Sorry Wayne, but I had...  To Let the World Know!

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Targhan
 

Offline Targhan

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Re: The current situation, conspiracy theories please
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2004, 04:02:44 AM »
Look, Wayne, it's time to give it up.  Our next target is MacOS, so let's just move on.  I don't think Bush will fund our anti-common-sense campaign any longer.  We need to move on to the anti-originality mission.

(let's hope we can get there before the former BeOS interference committee can)
Regards,
Targhan
 

Offline Targhan

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Re: The current situation, conspiracy theories please
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2004, 06:44:23 AM »
@redrumloa

Due to Mick Tinker's vacationing with the mutant human subsurface races near or around Area-51, I can only provide circumstantual evidence.  However, in the Amiga arena, you will find this quite satisfactory.

In his dark office, behind yet another A2000 keyboard, Harv Laser headed up the effort, originally giving me my chance to enter the frey as an unimportant employee at AntiGravity products under the escaped alien, Niela Phase and her protoge, Dan Lutz.  

Pulling the strings from behind the dark curtains of Roswell, Harv Laser introduced me to one Bolton Peck--my partner while at AntiGravity.  Eventually, the BoXeR project lost it's ability to destroy the community, Dan Lutz dissappeared, Niela began AlienWare to torment PC-Gamers, and Bolton and I were re-assigned.

Since it is well know that Bolton went to work for Amiga Inc, I went to work for Genesi, and that we are friends, there is no other explaination than that of which I speak is true.  Yes, there is no other explaination than this is all intertwined for your entertainment, and to prevent the injection of common sense into the current IT world...

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