I believe in Nessie 
Are you suggesting the Loch Ness Monster isn't real? Jeez, man, have some national pride! I'm not even from the UK and I show that poor beast more respect!
@ commodorejohn & save2600
I shouldn't really be telling you this (keep it to yourselves) but, Nessie is just a tourist scam that we use to overcharge (mainly yanks & Japs) during the summer so we can make an extra few quid to keep the nation supplied with buckfast...

It's a bit like the wild 3 legged Haggis shoots we take them on up the hillsides...
Hi Smerf ...

You know them 7 million ex Commodore users that you party with every weekend, well at your next party could you look for a wee fat baw faced git that goes by the name of Gib and ask him when I'm going to get back the tenner I lent the bugger back in 97...

As for the lavvies getting bunged up, simple solution let them use the back garden instead (just make sure they do their business over the fence into the neighbours garden)...

(PS: how do you manage to fit 7 million ex Commodore users into a guinea pig cage !!!)
Franko