Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion.
The following warning labels are placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: the konsumshun of alcohol may Mack you tink you can tipe reel gud.
"Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapenos.
What you do today, might burn your a$$ tomorrow."
:lol:
