now i want to know how to get a nice toolbar down on the bottom
OS 3.5 doesn't include any. You need to go for 3rd party software.
and also how to get fancy icons and backscreens
are there any tools for it or just put it in somewhere?
Complete OS 3.5 install has the icons installed already. For fancier icons you need to go for 3rd party tools, such as PowerIcons.
Backscreens? Just set one in the prefs?