but I cant put the cdrom on as the slave on channel 1 as I dont have a 2.5>3.5 adapter handy
The 4-way adapter should have two connectors for channel 1, one 2.5" and one 3.5". You can connect the master to the 2.5" connector and the slave to the 3.5" connector. Just make sure that channel 1 does not have two masters or two slaves.
I tried using the big cdrom but it didnt seem that the brick psu had enough power as nothing booted up.
Then IMHO the problem with the slimline CD-ROM is a power issue, too. You should try to run the CD-ROM without the HDD connected and powered (run the drivers from floppy disk). If it then works, it is a power problem.
Bye,
Thomas