I don't think of even half that crap.
Here are the bits that I usually think of:
...
Ok, starting my day.
Gotta get clean.
...
No. Gotta be hot.
Ok, time to dry off.
This shirt won't get me laid.
Ahh {bleep} it, I wasn't going to get laid anyway.
...
Why do girls complain about shaving their legs?
...
Boobs.
I guess a lot of words are funny if you think about it.
I'm hungry.
...
Boobs.
Oh yeah, hot girls [on train].
Get there early, see boobs.
Boobs?
Ok.
...
Cold enough for hard nipples.
Boobs.
The elevator is the most impersonal place in the world. No two random people who meet on an elevator will ever like each other.
This is the gayest looking dude I've ever seen.
He probably still gets laid more though.
...
Oh, figures, I get off the elevator, hot girl gets on.
...
This may very well be the most boring moment of my life.
...
Nazis were dicks.
...
God, I'm so horny.
...
I gotta use the toilet.
...
Stop thinking about 3-ways. Concentrate on a 2-way.
Like lesbians? No, like you and a girl...but come to think of it...lesbians are hot.
Yeah they are.
...
Tomorrow, damn, gotta start that.
...
Why?
I dunno.
...
Is it peer pressure if I'm trying to coax myself?
...
Phone is ringing.
Maybe someone wants to have sex with you.
No one who would call me would wanna have sex with me.
You never know.
{bleep}.
It's my mom.
...
Dinner.
Need food.
Ugh.
Cooking.
This is why people get married.
...
Boobs?
Haha, same as always.
Might as well go to bed.
Can't sleep.
Umm, formulate your list of 100 girls you wanna sleep with.
Ok.
[100.]...
[99.]
98. This is dumb.
I'm going online.
... it's only...damn it's 1:45.
...
