Caffiene!!!

[Wilse]

Karlos wrote:
Ok, I've been fasting for 30 days. I've had one cup of tea a day, usually at about 5am for one month, and that's it.

This morning I drank a big fat 500ml can of "Relentless", Coca Cola's answer to Red Bull.

Steer well clear is my advice. Feels like I just took a slack hanful of amphetamine :lol:

Sounds fabulous - where can I score some of this wonderjuice?

[Wilse]

Karlos wrote:
I found it in my local ASDA in the 'energy' drinks section of the fizzies ailse.

I'll get me coat..... :pint:

[Wilse]

OK, just back from the shops, relentless now nestling in fridge.

The come down off it is worse than from mdma.

Hmmm... the only problem I ever had in that department was with, aherm, impurities.

the come down off amphetamine, now that's horrible..... bevvy hangover crossed with chronic depression - shudder, what a nasty memory.

[Wilse]

Karlos wrote:
@Wilse

I dunno if it will have the same impact on you. If not, try reducing your stimulant intake to near zero for a month then downing a can :lol:

:roflmao:
Touche!

I actually shat out of tanning it. It's still nestling in the fridge. I'm alert as I need to be for now.
I'll save it for a time when I need a wake up boost. ;-)

[Wilse]

And your skin feels awful..

As do your insides - makes you want to turn yourself inside out before you jump in the shower for fourth time that day...

you're having that thought, "it will get bigger again.....won't it?".

:roflmao: I'd forgotten about that particular side-effect.

[Wilse]

GadgetMaster wrote:

Wilse wrote:

I actually shat out of tanning it. It's still nestling in the fridge. I'm alert as I need to be for now.
I'll save it for a time when I need a wake up boost. ;-)

Did you pluck up the courage to down it yet? :-D
 

Not yet but I might neck it in the morning as I've had a somewhat extravagant weekend and don't imagine I'll be too happy about getting up for work tomorrow.

[Wilse]

Karlos wrote:
Or if you want to save it, just eat half a bag of sugar and a slack handful of amphetamine :lol:

I think I'd rather nail my knackers to a passing bin lorry with a rusty pitch fork...

[Wilse]

Karlos wrote:

Wilse wrote:

Karlos wrote:
Or if you want to save it, just eat half a bag of sugar and a slack handful of amphetamine :lol:

I think I'd rather nail my knackers to a passing bin lorry with a rusty pitch fork...

Why do I suspect that's not entirely true? :-D

Well, I do have a tendency to exaggerate sometimes... :-D

[Wilse]

GadgetMaster wrote:
The thing is that I don't normally consume such large amounts of caffeine recreationally.

Recreationally?
Hehehe... "I'm away to git right off ma chump on this wild caffeine...."

:-)

[Wilse]

Karlos wrote:
Oh, I thought it was because that you didn't have bin lorries in weegie...

Right enough, they're more often referred to as "Midgie Vans."

[Wilse]

Karlos wrote:

Hehehe... "I'm away to git right off ma chump on this wild caffeine...."

Oh man, that expression has me rolling :roflmao:

(it's imagining how it sounds with the accent that kills me every time)

You think that's bad?
A conversation overheard whilst queueing at the cigarette booth in Somerfield
between two of the wonderful, queue-jumping, "salt of the earth" type scum that populate my local supermarket during the day.
I was planning on trying to work it into a daft song, although I'd have to come up with a funny ending, despite the fact that whole episode was a sort of tragi-comedy anyway:
--
Him: Hawd oan a minute
Her: Whit?
Him: Hawd oan a wee minute
Her: Ah'm jist gawn tae the fag coonter
Him: Whit?
Her: Whit?
Him: D'ye whant a lottery ticket?
Her: Whit?
D'ye whant a lottery ticket?
Whit?
Ah says d'ye whant a lottery ticket
Aye.
Whit's yer numbers?
Whit?
Whit's yer numbers?
Whit?
Ah'm askin' ye, WHIT IS YOUR NUMBERS?
Whit?
Ah'll jist get ye a lucky dip?
Whit?
Ih ye deef?
Whit?
Thoat so. Ah'll jist get ye a lucky dip...
Ih? Ah don't wahnt a lucky dip.
Well, WHIT'S YOUR NUMBERS?
WAN.
WHIT?
WAN
Right.
THREE
WHIT?
THREE
Right.
SEVEN, 13, 25, 32 and 49.
HAWD OAN, SLOW DOON.
Whit?
C'mo'er here an' tell us yer numbers.
Whit?
C'mo'er here.
Naw, Ah'm no' losin' ma place in the queue.
WHIT?
Ah says Ah'm no' losin' ma place in the queue.
well, WHIT'S YOUR NUMBERS?
Ah've awready telt ye.
Well tell us agane.
Wan
Whit?
WAN.
WHIT?
WAN
Right.
THREE
WHIT
THREE
Right.
SEVEN, 13, 25, 32 & 49.
HAWD OAN, SLOW DOON.
WHIT?
Ah'm only up tae 3
Whit?
Ah says ah'm only up tae 3
Aw, right, seven's next
Whit?
Ah says seven's next.
Right, whit comes eftir that?
Ih?
Ah says whit comes eftir that
13
Right
25
Whit?
twinty five
Right, next?
32
Whit?
32
Whit
Thirty-bloody-two
Right
And then it's 49
Nae bother, that's it done (shuffles from lottery stand to front of cigarette queue)
Assistant: Excuse me there's a queue.
Him: Here, hol, hen, Ah've been waitin fur an 'oor.
Naw ye huvnae Ah jist saw ye stonnin o'er ther'
Whit?
Fillin' in yer lottery ticket.
But Ah've been here ages.
Back ae the queue, ya chancer,
Whit?
ther's people waitin' tae git served.
But Ah've been here ages.
Naw ye huvnae
Aye Ah huv.
Naw ye huvnae
Aye Ah huv.

Etc, etc, until you want to kill him......