My Music Video

[motorollin]

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:

motorollin wrote:
I think "artistic" is a bit generous... I see myself more like a monkey on a typewriter. If I keep bashing the keyboard, eventually something reasonable might end up getting created ;-)

Well, monkeys can swing real good :lol:

"Are you kidding? I put the GRRRRRR in swinger, baby!"

;-)

[motorollin]

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
Well, I think it's wanting to avoid uncomfortable social situations rather than conciously lying. (which at the same time is a rich source of the famous British humour)

You're right about not wanting to create uncomfortable social situations, but I don't think that means it's not necessarily a conscious lie. If somebody asks me what I think of, say, their hair cut, if I didn't like it then I would immediately become aware of the fact that an honest response may not only create an uncomfortable social situation but could also be hurtful to that individual. I have a choice at this point: lie and tell the person what I think they want to hear, resulting in them feeling better about themselves but still having a horrible hair cut, or give them an honest answer so that, if they decide that my opinion is really that important, they can do something about it. Because I usually opt for the latter, people who know me tend to ask for my opinion on things fully prepared for a totally honest response. People who don't know me so well are sometimes surprised by my honesty, but my experience is that people ultimately respect the fact that I am honest (but polite about it). I tend to expect the same from others.

[motorollin]

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
Eh? I don't understand that one :-?

It's a quote from Austin Powers. Some bit of crumpet asks in if he swings, and that was how he responded. It's probably funnier coming from him, and not in text form ;-)

[motorollin]

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
The only problem I have with honesty is when it's outed too early. I consider it rude when someone think he/she can have a good opinion about for instance music when he/she has heard he very first minute of a performance.

Ahh yes, I agree with you there. It can take time for music to get under your skin, especially if it is different to what you would usually listen to. For example, when I first started listening to Radiohead I hated it, but I am lucky enough to have been trained in music so could recognise that even though the sound wasn't quite pleasing to my ear, there was something there of value. So I persevered, and now I adore their music. If I were to play, say, Everything In Its Right Place, Paranoid Android or Faust Arp to my father, he would immediately say he doesn't like it. If I tried to explain that it takes time to get used to it, he would refuse. I see this attitude a lot with music, and it makes me sad to think that people are missing out on something beautiful because they refuse to open their minds, give it a chance, and accept the possibility that what they're hearing could change them. After all, surely that's the point of music in the first place.

[motorollin]

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
Without wanting to make this thread soggy, this post exactly state my feelings :-)

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound.....
 :knuddel:

:lol:

[motorollin]

Lorraine wrote:
And that's the difference between being politely dishonest and in-your-face "telling-it-how-it-is" biatch!

Being honest isn't necessarily insulting someone, nor shouting things that come to mind.

Quite. But what one person intends as delicate honesty, another person may interpret as insulting. The person asking for an opinion on their hair will probably be doing it for one of three reasons:

1. They suspect their hair looks awful and they are seeking confirmation so they know they need to change it.
2. They suspect their hair looks awful and are hoping for reassurance that it actually looks ok.
3. They genuinely have no opinion regarding their hair and are seeking an objective opinion.

In cases 1 and 3, the individual will most likely be grateful for an honest opinion, even if that opinion confirms that their hair is horrible. However, in situation 2 the individual is probably sensitive and since they are seeking reassurance, may well feel insulted by an honest response even if it was not intended that way.

Lorraine wrote:
If this was Big Brother being honesty is usually perceived as one of two things:

1) The person isn't two-faced, he/she keeps it real.
2) The person is bullying, Offcom on standby...

I have never watched Big Brother, so I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about ;-)

Lorraine wrote:
Moto's idea was good for telling the truth when it is needed, not for the sake of it - having a bad haircut could hurt someone more in the longrun.

Well, maybe we're over-analysing. But for me politeness is paramount first, and then common sense kicks in for how much honesty is needed.

Quite. And the skill in reading the speaker in order to discover their true intention (i.e. why they are asking you about their hair) is important for this very reason. Your interpretation of your communication partner's intentions will shape your responses, and response to them will likewise be interpreted not only by what they know about you but also by their motivation for asking the question in the first place. It is often very difficult to truly get in to the head of a speaker, which is why questions like "what do you think of my hair?" are often responded to with a follow-up question like "why?" in order to discover the motivation of the speaker, in order to ensure that your response is congruent with their goal so as to avoid hurting their feelings.

Communication is fascinating :-D

[motorollin]

bloodline wrote:
blah blah, stop all your waffling and tell me about my damn video :-x



;-) :-)

I've already said I like it. What more do you want? :-P

[motorollin]

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:

motorollin wrote:
objective opinion.

*Cough*
I don't want to be rude, but....

Hmm good point. But you know what I meant ;-)

[motorollin]

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
I'd love to stay, but I really have to get back to work :-(

Yeah me too. Though my mini-essay above about pragmatics was somewhat pertinent to my course...