Broccoli does it again!

[JaXanim]

I remember when I first put an '030/50 in my A1200 desktop. It started crashing due to overheat. Anyway, I decided to leave off the trapdoor and raise the case an inch or so off the table. So I put four nicely trimmed broccoli spears at each corner and it worked just great. Had to change 'em for fresh ones every week or so, else the case drooped back too much and it would crash again. Carrots work too, but they tend to skid when you type things. The multi-point contact provided by broccoli is perfect for lateral stability and I've never found anything to match it since. Needless to say, I have converted my once lush lawns into broccoli growing areas so I'm never without it. You can get my special non-yellowing broccoli spears on eBay under 'everything else'. Happy bidding!

JaX

[JaXanim]

A long time ago, they used to extract a white pigment from broccoli for use in printing inks, cosmetics, plastics and such. The only problem was, like broccoli itself, the colour soon changed to a mucky yellow. There's strong evidence that this very broccoli white was used in the construction of A1200 cases. The rest as they say, is history.

JaX

[JaXanim]

mr_a500 wrote:
It's legal to smoke broccoli in Canada, but most people don't because it's too difficult to ignite.

That's because it's been changed by selective breeding for use in electronics. Few people these days remember its original applications. Long before the invention of the Amiga (which catalysed the Broccoli Breeding Campain - now known as the 'BBC') the vegetable was much more flammable. Broccoli smoking in Canada is a reminder of the almost global use of broccoli to provide heating. This bygone age preceeds the invention of coal and even peat by several thousand years. Shortly after man discovered fire, he needed something to do with it. Over hundreds of years trying different things, primitive man eventually discovered the lowly broccoli plant. At that time, its little florets were flammable due to the natural oils which evaporate from them. That's how wild boars knew how to locate it in the heavily wooded terrain of Central Europe and North America. They couldn't get enough of the heady vapours. It's also where the expression, 'Oh, you're such a broccoli boar' comes from. Anyway, broccoli burning became as essential as breathing and eventually it powered the Industrial Revolution. As the broccoli age continued, new varieties were developed and even edible types were invented. These were dark green in colour, as distict from the primitive white, which was lost to science until quite recently. The pale green intermediate genus retains some flammability and gained great popularity in Northern regions as a smoking fuel and telecommunication aid. Being too distant from the broccoli and tobacco growing areas of Virginia, the North American and Canadian indians had to smoke ground up boar dung in their peace pipes. There was never any fighting because the digested broccoli oils in the dung made everyone happy. All that changed when the French arrived and spread the word about the new pyrobroccolis. From then on, broccoli smoking was the norm and persists to this day in the French speaking areas of Canada. Its popularity stems from the addictive oils, which unlike niccotine, have no health risks other than the tendency to make the user very boring. So the next time you call someone a 'Broccoli boar'- sometimes misused as 'Broccoli bore' - think about the origins of the expression. You could even retell the history of broccoli because it's not boring at all.

JaX