I guess that from what you've said, your memory is not getting recognized. As such it is no wonder that the card is slow. When working with onboard 16-bit memory the 040 is almost as slow as a 68000.
I would guess that your simms are probably faulty or inappropriate for the board. My FF has 32 Mb on board and it is fully autoconfiguring, no need to add anything to the startup-sequence. The only thing it is picky about is its old v36 68040.library. But that's about it.
So you should try to source some compatible SIMMs...