I've had a very turbulent year. I moved house in early January back into my parents' place in anticipation of getting a new job I'd applied for in London with Symbian. Didn't get the job after a bad interview, unfortunately, and I'm still living with my folks. Decided to focus on my existing job and put any leftover creative talents in the web browser Paihia, and went backpacking in New Zealand by myself... after which the year started to go downhill from there. Met my current girlfriend, went to Copenhagen, later diagnosed with high blood pressure (190/100 at one point) and depression and prescribed Prozac, went to Prague, went to Berlin.
Prozac on its own is barely effective any more so I regularly top it up with plenty of alcohol. Today, now with the added stress of commitment-phobia, feeling smothered, paranoia, the depression gets me down a lot, and at the moment I don't have the self-confidence to go backpacking down under again.
The high-point is probably accepting that I suffer from depression, the low point is suffering from depression.
So, my plans for the coming year are:
1. Get off the Prozac.
2. At the same time as (1), join a gym, and use that as the source of my happy-brain-chemicals, so I don't lose the benefits I do get from Prozac. Hopefully this might increase my sex drive and prevent my blood pressure from re-going through the ceiling too.
3. Keep working on Paihia.
4. Get my own place again.
