coldfish wrote:
The horse isnt dead...
...he's just resting until next time.
Monty Python actually wrote a sketch about this... Michael Palin plays a deluded Amigan...
-Edit-
Ok... Lets have some Search and replace fun:
Dead AmigaOS Sketch
The cast:
MR. PRALINE
John Cleese
SHOP OWNER
Michael Palin
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The sketch:
A customer enters a Computer shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this AmigaOS what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the AmigaONE and AmigaOS4...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead AmigaOS when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable platform, the AmigaONE and AmigaOS4, idn'it, ay? Beautiful architecture!
Mr. Praline: The architecture don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister AmigaOS! I've got a lovely fresh G3 for you if you
show...
(owner hits the cage)
Owner: There, he moved!
Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO AmigaOS!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes AmigaOS out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead AmigaOS.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! AmigaONE and AmigaOS4s stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That AmigaOS is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged development phase.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for Commodore.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for Commodore?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The AmigaONE and AmigaOS4 prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable platform, id'nit, squire? Lovely architecture!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that AmigaOS when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that platform down, it would have nuzzled up to those PC's, bent 'em apart with its advanced multimedia capibility,
and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this platform wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This AmigaOS is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the desk 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-AmigaOS!!
(pause)
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of AmigaOSs.
Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: I got a Mac.
(pause)
Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Mr. Praline: Well.
(pause)
Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
