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"Listen you little spazoids. I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep. I swear that your mothers will cry when they see what I've done to you."
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Tommy: Did you hear I graduated?
Richard Hayden: Yeah and just a shade under a decade. All right.
Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard Hayden: I know, they're called doctors.
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[Tommy carelessly set an open bag of M&M's on the dashboard and they immediately poor into an open slot]
Richard Hayden: Oh that sounds good: melted chocolate inside the dash, that really ups the resale value.
Tommy: I think you'll be okay here, they have a thin candy shell. 'Surprised you didn't know that
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Tommy: Does this suit make me look fat?
Richard Hayden: No, your face does.
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[after Tommy has rubbed air freshener on himself]
Ray Zalinsky: Goin' a little heavy on the pine tree perfume there kid?
Tommy: No, it's an auto air freshener.
Ray Zalinsky: Good, you've pinpointed it, now the next step is washin' it out.
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"Okay... seatbelts. Just put the little thing into the big thing and... I tell ya what. If you don't know how to fasten your seatbelt, just raise your hand and I'll have Tommy Boy here come back there and hit you in the head with a tack hammer because you're a RETARD. "
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