A scarbragging contest? Coo.
Things life has taught me:
- If you insist on lighting a firecracker while holding it in your hand, at least throw it away before it explodes. (Fuse burntime miscalculation. Burnt palm. Age ~10.)
- If you really want to shake a squirrel down from a tree, make sure it doesn't land on YOU. (Bites, scrapes, tetanus shot, Mum making a fuss about all sorts of exotic rodent diseases. 12.)
- If you want to learn how to juggle, axes are not the things to start with. (It bit my hand. ~14.)
- In fact, don't touch the damn axes at all. (Threw an axe from the middle of a smallish creek to the bank while building a bridge. Almost got my arse kicked by the guy it hit in the stomach - luckily no injuries inflicted. 16.)
- When coming down from a truck's cabin, climb - don't jump. (Sprained ankle. 26.)
- Don't wash dishes. (A glass imploded in my hand. All fingers in the left and 1 finger in the right hand shredded. Blood all over the kitchen. 27.)
- Girls are mean. (Love life. From 20 (sic) to this day.)
Sorry for not being impressively maimed, I just wanted to participate. :-)
