WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
I don't wear any of those.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
I never whisper when I'm drunk; I sing!
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
I can't dance when I'm sober either.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again you love them
Friendship rules!
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
I
can sing; it's just a matter of how well.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
Don't have any ex-lovers, so who cares! :-D
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
Female lamas spit first.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
No they're not. Falling is responsible for that.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
That's not an illusion! :-P
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.
I'm good at telling groaners.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
Whoever wrote that ought to take some biology lessons.
WARNING: the konsumshun of alcohol may Mack you tink you can tipe reel gud.
Bobsonsirjohny? Is that you?
