What's your best cold / flu remedy?

[X-ray]

Ah, but we need more info, my good man. It's like a hardware problem, yes? So post your configuration, man!!
What sort of flu is it? Is it the rheumy-eyed spluttering and gobbing up of lung-oysters? Or is it the dastardly throbbing sinus-type ache that makes your head feel like a cement-mixer and gives you that irritating sensation as if maggots are chewing on your optical nerves?

You tell me your symptoms, and Uncle X-ray guarantees a solution!!

[X-ray]

Ahhhh, okay.

Firstly, for those of you who may in future be heading for such an ordeal, may I suggest that action is taken upon the first detection of a sore throat. And by action I mean Tyrozets.
Those are the best throat pills in the world. They are antibacterial, antifungal and have a topical anaesthetic. And they are cheap too. That would have kicked the nonsense on the arse before it got into your lower airways.

Well, it is a difficult scene now. You have the lung oysters and you also have sneeble-greeber's-nose. You'll need an expectorant syrup like Sudafed.

There is not much else you can do. Of course you should be eating regularly (no fasting) and you should be drinking regularly otherwise you aren't going to shake it. So on medical grounds you must cut the fasting, that's what is making this cold worse.

If you don't listen I'll have to put a call in to Lily the Pink and she'll be round your house with her Fantastic Flu Fighting Enema Apparatus (tm) so don't mess about, lad.  :-P

[X-ray]

@ Karlos

I will pass your appreciation to the female radiographer who taught me that one. The X-ray girls have plied me with many a nefarious wink and a facetious remark and their capacity for high jinks is legendary. They are altogether a curious bunch. I owe them credit for sneeble-greeber and lung-oyster (and many unrepeatable terms too)  :-)