419 Scammers

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Today I got another email from a 419 scammer. I'm sure you've all had one (or maybe 500) by now. They claim to be the executor of a deceased person's estate (usually in Nigeria) and they want to get the money out of the country quietly. And thats why they need YOU and your bank account. They say the amount is in millions and you'll get a cut for helping them avoid paperwork.

Today's email was from "Barrister Joseph Tunde". I usually just delete these, but I was a bit edgy because I had been working on my project all morning and I had much less tolerance than usual. So I replied to his email:

'If you're a barrister then I am a fuggen bullfrog, and both ways you aren't getting any money out of me'

I won't repeat what else I said, because it was a bit technical. I'd love to round all those scammers up, tie them down on a concrete slab and subject them to my own brand of 'treatment' which entails dropping a £2 coin on each one's forehead at 5 minute intervals, for about 18 years. Maybe after that they will have less desire to take other people's money.

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@ Karlos

 :lol:

The best trophy shot is "I chew bollocks"

http://www.419eater.com/html/trophy_room10.htm

 :roflmao:

Good stuff, I hope they waste those thieves' time royally. I like the idea of getting the guy to meet me at the airport  :evilgrin:

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The guy who runs that site should be be given a medal. Did you hear the phone calls in the case where the scammer got baited and got screwed out of $718?

Top stuff!! It brightened my day better than any comedy could!

http://www.419eater.com/html/martins_jide.htm

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I am giving serious consideration to becoming a professional baiter. Not only will it be immensely satisfying, but those guys on 419eater seem to have a lot of fun too. I've been checking out that website and the members seem to have a similar sense of humour and outrageous tactics to me. I would fit right in.
Hmmmm, lets see, yes...I could be a guy who has just inherited a pastry-making business, but my heart isn't really in it, and instead of spending the £15,000 needed to upgrade the factory, I'm looking for an investment with a quicker return.

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Aw, come on, Karlos I reckon you would make a great scam-baiter. I'd team up with you to get them, anyday  :-)

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@ ADZ

 :-o  :-o  :-o

Dude, this is seriously a miracle. Have you got an email account at all?  :-P

Come on, you must have got one of these (quoting from memory, spelling mistakes intentional):

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I know this may come to you as a surprise, and forthwith with good eintentions, I may ask to boldly make your acquaintince.
I am GEORGE AKMAL, financier and treasurer to the late HOWARD SMITH who was forthwith the business owner of one of the largest Shell accounts in Nigeria.
My frend, it is with great sadness that we say fairwell to our departed Smith, he being of no will and leaving his estate to hang in limbo, we have some funds of $35 million that cannot be distributed in Nigeria, and that ther government cannot touch, it being secluded funds from SMITH's estate.
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I'll spare the readers here any more hardship by leaving it there. The scammer then asks if he can transfer the money to your bank account, and then you will be paid a commission, a few million usually. Of course when the time comes for them to deposit the money, they ask you to wire THEM a small fee of $12,000 to handle the costs involved. They tell you it is a small price to pay when you are receiving millions.

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@ Cymric

 :lol:  :lol:

I didn't see the Enema Fudge one, but I have to agree that it takes first prize!

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I hate to admit it, but it took me a few minutes to get the 'master baiter' joke. But now:

 :lol:

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@ Karlos and Star (and all-and-sundry)

It must be something that passed me by in SA  :-)