@lempkee
First of all, you were sounding depressed about the state of the scene so I tried to cheer you up :-) I guess it came out the wrong way...
I haven't been to very many parties (maybe nine or ten), but I'd have to say that the ones I've been to were very nice. I've only been to smaller ones (maybe 200 attendants at the biggest one so far) and I've never been to a party without a computer. Not that I get to use it very much because, like you say, in the latest years it has mostly been about socializing and having a good time.
Finishing a production at a party is never fun, except maybe for a surprise compo (but that is a totally different thing IMHO).
I always try to have my contributions ready before I go to a party!
A good party to me, well, it's hard to describe but it's got to have that certain feeling of friendship and community, that all the visitors belong together because they're a part of something bigger, in this case the whole scene "thing".
I couldn't say that I would feel at home at one of the parties with 2000+ attendants, at least I don't think so (but then again I've never tried it

.
I'm going to a party in my home town in a couple of days, and this is a party I love. Just like you say about M&S there is total silence during all the compos. There are always a few gamers attending the party but this year they will be forced to turn their screens off during the compos ;-)
Just like you I've never understood how people can sit in front of their computers leeching, not talking to anyone - and paying for it - when they do the same thing at home all the time. I can appreciate the fun in playing Quake but I'd rather do it for free in a friend's livingroom during a weekend.
If I had to pick a favourite party I'd have choose one where I was one of the organizers :-)
It was held back in 1996, superb feeling.