;-) Another one for the grown-ups to explain to the youngsters.
Here we have the story of Roy Roger’s new cowboy boots. It seems that one year, on his birthday, Mr. Rogers received a pair of handmade boots as a gift from a fan. As Roy looked them over, he marveled at their craftsmanship and the materials selected for their construction. He was almost afraid to try them on, for fear of being disillusioned if they didn’t fit. As it happened, they fit better than any pair he had ever worn. As he walked about his home with them, comparing them in his mind to other boots he’d worn over his career, he got nostalgic about the good old days. Roy decided to pack a bedroll, some dinner, and his guitar, and to saddle up his horse and camp out in the desert, under the stars, just for old time’s sake. After all, it was his birthday.
The setting sun finds Our hero finishing his dinner near his campfire, miles from the nearest civilization. His horse is tethered nearby, and Roy strums his guitar as his sings a few tunes. Then he settles in for the night. As he snuggles into his bedroll, he notices his boots scintillating in the moonlight. Fearing that they might attract a mountain lion, he clambers up to the top of a nearby rock to place them out of reach. Then, he hops back down, and turns in for the night.
His sleep is interrupted by a fit of snarling and hissing. Bolting upright, Roy is horrified to see a mountain lion atop the boulder, chewing and clawing away at his boots. His horse has already pulled up his tether and run off. Mr. Rogers sprints through the sagebrush, barefoot.
Eventually, he finds the road, and catches a ride to the nearest truck stop. There he telephones his family. As he waits for his family to arrive, he sits at a table. The other customers are feeling sorry for him, and buying his breakfast for him as he relates his tale. When Roy has, a huge lumberjack across the room rises from his table, and leaves the building.
A couple of hours later, Rogers is still repeating his woes to customers who’d recently entered the restaurant. The lumberjack returns, looking like Paul Bunyan. Nearly seven feet tall and four abreast, he is a wall of flannel and denim, with a firey red beard and a double-bitted axe at his waist. Slung across his shoulder is the body of a dead mountain lion. The crowd falls silent, and makes way as the lumberjack strides toward Roy’s table. He un-slings the lion from his shoulder, flops it onto the table in front of a stunned Mr. Rogers, and begins to sing.
In the deepest baritone, he sings out "Pardon me Roy, is this the cat that chewed your new shoes?"
/me runs for cover from the grown-ups, and explains to the youngsters:
;-) There was a musical, back in the day, called "Hello, Dolly." It starred Barbara Streisand in the title roll. The opening scene involves a train arriving at the station. In song, the leading man asks a shoeshine boy whether the train is the one he is expecting. "Pardon me boy, is that the Chattanooga choo-choo?" Obviously, if you didn’t already know this, the punch line is lost on you.
/me runs for cover from the youngsters too, now.
